This is something I have never done before, unhealthily I’d bottle this up.
It’s better to talk about it, to own it
I think this cod really help
I find it hard to explain and often I’m worried that if we try multiple times and it doesn’t get up then it gets to the point where she’d not bother trying again and would move on
I see how owning it shows confidence and that can only be a good thing. Letting them know in advance helps them prepare and might take the pressure off
There is an anxiety that by approaching the subject, i’m torpedoing my chances because they’ll be more interested to go find someone who doesnt have those issues
Women never listen anyway, it’s always about them
I think my relationships ended because they were always opening for the smallest thing and I wasn’t because I wanted to show them how to be resilient, but then it turned into me resenting them. So having uncomfortable conversations now and then would have been useful to ease the pressure
I feel used to having the "I have sexual performance anxiety " conversation but I notice women after the conversation don’t feel like they can freely touch me or be sexual because they don’t want to make me feel awkward or uneasy which then in turn just delays even longer a successful sexual experience with them.
Although performance anxiety can go to hell…talking about it first makes it easier to listen to your body in the moment and let your partner know (sooner than later), that I won’t be getting it up right now but I REALLY want to get you off still
I feel like this is a deal breaker for people I want to date. They want me to get hard as a sign I’minto it, or to fuck, or to get sucked.
I’m in a relationship of 10 years. We’re trying to talk about such issues. Problem is, I feel the communication has negative patterns. We seem to trigger each other all the time. And you’re right, there’s probably an abundance of “you” statements in our language to each other. I’ll have to think before I talk more, and I think I’ve already been trying to talk about how something makes me feel rather than take an accusatory tone necessarily. Problem is, times when I feel it necessary to finally assert myself for feeling unheard, my tone is mistaken for being “rude”, so I guess I have to go back to the drawing board, but also it’s been an ongoing issue with my partner who is particularly sensitive to tone. I don’t yell or resort to insults or name-calling, I just at certain rare instances I wish to not be so passive and express how I feel about something and she just can’t hear it, and as time goes on I feel my tone reflects more and more frustration in trying to get my point across without it ever being heard …
1 Like
I think there’s a fine line between having this type of conversation, and not being fatalistic. I don’t have a problem communicating. But once I do, my head rather than feeling relieved goes more to the “oh it won’t work this time again either headspace
I want to get comfortable with discussing erectile or climax issues with a partner using “I” statements. Not there yet
I have started a new relationship and been honest about my worries and struggles from the start, it’sbeen a real weight from my shoulders.
1 Like
I constantly talk about sexual topics. Both because it’s fun, and I get to learn what they like/don’t like. And, by expressing my occasional problems, we can navigate alternatives
It’s something I first started discussing in my previous relationships but I have seen and felt how much better things are when you communicate what’s going on clearly.
1 Like
I feel hesitant, not because it’s coming from a place of shame, but rather because I don’t want to seem presumptuous
It can be tough. But I know my wife wants the best for me an so that helps me talk about it with her.
Fully confident, we have been together for already quite a time and I feel fully supported by her