Have you done it before? What was the outcome?
My partner avoids sex. We don’t arouse each other
I think the biggest thing for me is recognising the thoughts & feelings I have around sex. I would avoid sex with my wife a lot & not engage with why I’m not responding to her advances.
Being able to label what I’m feeling has been helpful (eg spectatoring, inner critic, performance anxiety) in unpacking those thoughts to discuss it further with her.
The hardest part is how I’m making my wife feel when I don’t communicate. When I can’t perform it makes her feel rejected & undesired. When I don’t respond to her touch or avoid sex it affects her self esteem & questions if I ever wanted her at all.
I love & want her but my avoidance of sex/intimacy & my actions keep telling her I don’t want her.
I want to break the cycle of how I’m making her feel so low.
With the right person. I can
I’m very fortunate to have great communication in my relationship. Of all the things I’m struggling with, this is the one where I’m shining
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It’s not easy
I feel nervous talking about my PE but I feel like I need to establish how my partner feels about it and which may relieve some of the stress.
doable
I have great communication with my wife and can talk about anything but she’s not always sympathetic about issues and has labelled things I’m trying to do here in a negative way, which then stops me talking to her about it.
Feel frantic thinking about this.
I have already started by telling others about my problem. I have not had sex with anyone yet. I am building confidence with my ability and how I react
Very difficult
It’s easy for me to mention this to my girlfriend because she’s seen it, but I don’t like talking about what I’m doing to fix it. I don’t want her to see me as less of a man because I have to use an app to heal sexually
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This is hard. We work well as a team and have a good shared language to have difficult conversations. However, because I got really obsessed with erections and made sex all about that, she is now less willing to talk about it. She thinks the talk about technical things like lasting longer or getting it up kills the actual connection of kissing and touching so now I tend to avoid it. I hope now I’ve started using the great techniques in mojo I can have make brief mention of these things and not make it feel ‘heavy’.
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I have no problem with my wife
Easy to talk to my wife about
There is a lot of nerves about opening up to someone I am only just starting to date. I would feel devastated if the relationship fizzles because my sharing is too much to handle
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It is very daunting to bring this stuff up but I think it’s important to do.
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Even as a pretty open person, I’ve always had trouble talking about ED, but I think if I did it earlier and more clearly, I’d be less in my head because I wouldn’t worry as much about what they were thinking.
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Talking about this stuff helps lighten the taboo over it. After bringing this up as a work in progress, those issues feel less like a failure, and more like steps toward my sexual objectives.
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