My new partner and I discusssed it and it did happen during our first attempt. She was so open and comforting about it. It made me feel safe and cared for. We did some other things and tried again a few hours later and it was like fire works. 10/10. Be open and honest! The right person will be okay and healing for you
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All about communication - I want to try it more with my partner who can also be shy
It’s a difficult conversation, for sure, but she’s brought it up in the past and I had to own it. It helps to be open about it, to tell her it’s not her fault in any way, and to assure her that I’m working on it.
I am hesitant to bring it up before one night stands but should probably do it anyways so that they know I’m excited for it and still want a good sexual experience. I am going to bring it up with my fwb though.
I feel ashamed.
I have recently found a fwb and we sometimes kiss and cuddle she is open to have sex as well but I’m very afraid the fact that I know it’s not getting hard and I don’t know what to do how can I tell her the situation
It seems to be a bit obvious if it’s not the first time. Should be normal
This is extremely intimidating, but I’m trying to remember that it’s usually gone well when I’ve brought up my issues with partners in the past, and it usually makes things easier and lessens the tension
I did recently. And then we had sex and it was lovely even if I wasn’t as firm as I would have liked and I didn’t come (but she did).’
Ive had it both ways before. I’ve had my partner be nice and reassuring, but then I’ve also had it where they retreated and thought it was all their fault. Maybe talking about it beforehand will help take the pressure off, but I also don’t want it to be at the forefront of my mind if I bring it up.
It’s absolutely critical. Both people land up internalizing these fictional stories which makes mountains out of mole hills. Speaking about it is the only way to feel the wholeness of your inner critic and see how it show up there. It will lead to greater intimacy and connection x
I think its kind of difficult to be honest… for me it is kind lf strage. Although I did it a couple of times and she reacted great to it.
Seems intimidating but also very healing
I was surprised how my wife of 22 years was so supportive when I opened up to her. I’d built up so many barriers in my head that it was a big relief.
Is so difficult to bring the conversation up…being brought up from an early age to not talk or be open …incase of ridicule and bullying…over think things and maybe turn partner off and end in divorce
I always use to keep it a secret, but recently I’ve started becoming a lot more honest with someone I’ve dating. She’s been really understanding and accommodating, and most importantly it’s taken the pressure off me! It’s actually kind of crazy that ever since I communicated the issue with her- the actual erection problem seems to be going away because I’m no longer worried!
My girlfriend and I discuss my ED semi-regularly usually as and when it happens. I generally feel comfortable talking with her about it and she is without judgement but does have an analytical mind and may start trying to identify what caused this case, usually with a focus on “what she did wrong” which I do find a bit upsetting and counterproductive
It is harder for gay men to discuss this because unless you are a bottom it is expected to work. However, building trust with a partner is the only way.
Its tough with my long term partner because i don’t want her to think it is because of her. But actually if i own it and tell her then its just a little quirk of myself thats nothing to do with her or who she is
I feel that I’ve been lucky enough that my current partner is understanding, and has been open to shaking things up that have either taken me out of my head, or be understanding to not put pressure on.