I do have a hard tine being present during sex. I feel our sex life is very one sided. It is all about my wifes pleasure. We have been married 20 years and our sex life has never been great. But I have started wanting a better connection. With all the focus on her pleasure and mine is only if I can have penetrative sex. Which I have to get myself hard. There is never any foreplay directed towards me. She is uncomfortable talking g about sex and when I try to bring it up. She says that she doesn’t know what else to do, and then she shuts down. I don’t know how to approach it.
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I have been with my wife for 12 years, the first few years sex was always amazing. Neither one of us where ever in our heads and it was all about each other’s pleasure. I am definitely more oriented towards giving pleasure. If I don’t see the physical queues from my wife I think I am doing something wrong. Forward to today and it’s 100% all about her pleasure, do I still love giving my wife pleasure? Absolutely, this is always the goal, at the same time I feel like she has taken this for granted. The second she has her needs taken care of she wants to rush me into finishing. My wife’s voice is 100% my inner critic. She tried to make it sound sexy that she wants me to cum… But I can tell in her voice that she is now “bored” and wants it to be over. I know I have to talk to her about this because the second I feel or notice that she is now out of the game I lose my erection or sense of pleasure and at that point there is no way I am keeping an erection or cumming.
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I feel the same way. Some times she says, “Hurry up, I’m done.” My wife has issues talking about sex or anything that is feeling based. She just shuts down. So when I try to talk about my ed she just says it’s because of her and that she is doing things wrong. I just can’t win. So now we are about 9 months without sex.