Please don’t judge-

So I have been seeing another woman for the past year and I don’t have any issues getting hard with her. When I try to have sex with my wife, it just doesn’t work. Even when I take Ed pills. I just am frustrated because I put myself in this entire mess. I guess I’m on here looking to see if anyone else has been through this and what I can do. I

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No judgement here brother, before getting more serious with my new gf I was still sleeping with for want of better words a booty call,
No problem getting it up for her and sex decent
Trouble is dont care for her or want to be with her!

Try and have sex with my new gf who I like, no joy, typical!

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I haven’t had the same issue but things between my wife and I haven’t been good and it had impacted my ability to get hard and stay hard. I think there’s something not right between you and your wife and I highly recommend you seeing a counsellor to unpack it thoroughly. Seeing a counsellor has helped me immensely.

Haven’t been quite in this particular situation but I’d have to agree with the second responder. I was in a 7 year relationship in my twenty’s and early thirties and we had great sex with little problem getting hard, but as soon as we started fighting more consistently and about more “real things” (future plans instead a stupid, day to day taking out the trash stuff) it was harder for me to get or keep an erection. Sex with a new partner can be exciting but I think this more has to do with the state of your relationship

Thank you guys for the feedback.

Maybe it’s guilt?

Is there a difference in engagement from each girl? IE… Does your other girl do more… Sexy outfits, “dirty” talk, participate more in foreplay? Love my wife but she treats sex like a one way street… It’s all on me… And I think that plays a role in my issues. She’s just not that into it… Loves sex but she’s not a big extras person… My point… Maybe the other girl just knows and has the confidence to push your buttons better… Maybe you and I BOTH need to tell the wives what we need to get us going???

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I’m gonna back the comment with the problems with your marriage. My ex was very attractive and matched my high intimacy, but as soon as shit started hitting the fan, it was very difficult to keep it up

I’d suggest it had to do with - an “object” for sex is fine , a wife is “problematic” . Viagra etc lower the threshold of viability of erections … it doesn’t magically create it from zero. With a strong enough “this isn’t on the sex menu” : there’s no erection reaction.