What is your inner coach like?

Critic said it’s not going to go well…again

Coach said… well you have been having some really good Morning Wood lately so more than likely there is nothing wrong with you physically!

smoky white cloud speaking my voice softly, confidently and with wisdom

I visualize my coach and critic as people, they both make arguments about why I should or shouldn’t be anxious, but in reality, the coach is always correct. This has been a fantastic exercise to help me think about the way that I’m thinking and address anxiety on a deeper level - not just sex. With sex, my critic tells me to find excuses to avoid sex or will tell me that if I do try I’ll fail, or to avoid things for awhile beforehand so I’m ready. My coach tells me, “woah, why is this even a thought? Why would we avoid sex? Because it’s possible something could happen? Sure, of course, but you’re making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. You can do this, you’ve done it before and can do it again, just relax and let it happen” I think that reassurance internally has been working wonders on my baseline mental state as I wont allow myself to become an anxious wreck anymore. I’m better at identifying issues and logically thinking through them.

Calm and confident version of myself

Inner critic - remember that time when you are very young and couldn’t perform well with a girl. That never left you. It is a part of you. You can’t ignore that! Inner couch. Look at all the good experiences you have had so far! You have had some very good sexual experiences. They all had different circumstances. You can do it again. You’re doing the work to make it happen

I imagined my inner critic and inner coach playing chess. My inner critic came in to perpetuate that I’m going to have trouble with my election as always while moving a chess piece, and my inner coach countered that my critic doesn’t know what will happen and that I often don’t have trouble with my erection, and that itdoesn’t matter either way because it will be fun to enjoy each other’s bodies regardless. Checkmate.

My inner ski voice when I’m coming down the hill, hitting powder, having fun, hitting little jumps, not focused on doing good or performing, but having fun, taking risks, following my intuition. “inadequate. broken. it’s going to mess up. she’ll leave you for it.” These are words of the critic. Words of the coach. “That’s not the point. I am loved. I am wanted. I have had pleasant sexual experiences before, and I’ll have them again.”

Inner critic said you won’t be able to get it up again, inner coach said there is no proof of this because it’s hasn’t even happened yet.

My inner coach is me, confident and tall, facing my inner critic who’s is me too but anxious and unstable…this was was very hard exercise…I cried. It seems that its something deep inside me…I will keep doing this; the harder the exercise is the better

My inner critic introduces doubt. More of a “what if this bad thing happens” downer kind of character. My inner coach is optimistic and confident. He says “things will work out. There is no use entertaining the bad thing that could happen. Because I will succeed.” Also my inner coach points out that I need to get out of my own head and just experience life

My inner coach is Zoro from the anime One Piece and called himself my ego. My inner critic was the penguin from Batman. Penguin said I would fail over and over and never satisfy my gf. Zoro said the men do fail but a real man never gives up. Use all the times I did amazingly and put my desires first. Think about what I really want and just go after it. It’s easier then you think.

My inner coach reminded me of who I really am

My inner coach is a recent sex partner who gave me a great experience and affirmed to me that I am very sexy and desirable. It takes on his voice and his words.
My inner critic takes on my own voice

My inner critic wants to focus on and remind me of past and potential failures. My inner coach chooses to focus on and remind me of past and potentially success. Both have happened but the one you choose to focus on is the one more likely to happen in the future

My inner critic is pessimistic, and very fearful of failure/rejection. It’s not helpful, and does more harm than good, but it truly feels that it means well. It believes that by avoiding intimacy and talking me out of engaging in sexual practices that it doing me a favour and saving me from a potentially embarrassing situation.

My inner coach is very rational and firm. Very encouraging and sees the effect that the inner critic has held over me. It wants to help me not shy away from intimacy but embrace that an erection is suppose to be a natural response and not a chore. And sex is normal and beautiful thing when not done in fear.

But the inner critique is so relentless at the slight sign of failure.

Oddly my critic never showed up. Maybe because sex days down the line isn’t something that brings me stress. It’s the spontaneous sex that can be problematic. My coach was all over the scene though.

Inner critic - remember how you couldn’t get it up, that’ll probably happen again, better focus up, are you making her feel good, you need to last longer, she’s not satisfied with you

Inner coach- you just need to focus on what feels good, enjoy each other, she wants you to feel good, this about both of you not just you or her. Oh well it’s soft now, she can help you

The inner critic is like a virus in the back of my brain passing negative thoughts and fear through my brain and body

Inner critic is a shadowy dark figure…”you might not get hard and you might disappoint her” usually just planting seeds of doubt vs being binary “you don’t/won’t get hard”. Inner coach is a spartan - speaking the truth and just being positive “you’ve always performed for your wife and you always will…she craves sex with you and wants your dick the way it is…ignore the other guy”

My inner coach sees the work I’ve done and a more realistic viewpoint. My inner critic sees negative experiences and doesn’t want me to experience them again and wants me to avoid at all costs.