A feeling of anxiety in the lower chest that is accompanied by a voice that says I’ll be unable to perform the way either of us would like.
A voice inside my head that tells me I won’t be good enough and that she will leave me this time
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It’s telling me she doesn’t love me or find me attractive. That I’ll never have meaningful sexual connections with her.
Shame that i’m not able to satisfy my girlfriend
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Will I be able to turn her on? Will the moment flow naturally, or be awkward? Am I going to make a wrong move and ruin it all?
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An internal frustration that takes my mind and mood away from a place of pleasure and enjoyment to overthinking
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It’s a perpetual “what if” machine, turning any scenario and spinning it into the worst case
It’s just sort of constantly saying “you’re not enough” or “this isn’t enough”. It’s always looking for more, different or better from me and the world around me.
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It tells me I am not good enough.
It makes me question my performances and tells me im not doing it well enough.
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It’s a compound of insecurities. The specific insecurities being voiced depend on the moment of my life or the situation I am imagining.
It is as literal as “you’re going to come early or right now” as soon as sex is initiated
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Instantly associated sex with the frustration afterward
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Constantly paranoid about finishing super quick and being a disappointment to my girlfriend by not giving her what she needs
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This is my problem exactly
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I don’t know who my inner critic is, but there’s something inside me that worries whether I can complete the task in front of me and then spurrs me on to get to the end of it, hurriedly, before it’s 'too late ', for some reason. I suppose that is the voice or characteristic that I’m looking for here. It certainly spoils the enjoyment quite a bit and causes me to feel uneasy until I’ve reached the goal. This feeling comes up most clearly and strongly when I’m hiking in high mountains, trying to get up and over high passes. It actually also used to bother me just before playing gigs with the bands I’m in. It gives me hope to know that I have overcome these fears in relation to playing music on stage, where the antidote seems to be proper preparation. This mechanism being mentioned here gives me hope that I may be able to overcome certain nervousness and stress I feel in relation to having sex and feeling that I have to perform well in bed…
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exactly the same lads
My inner citric starts with a feeling if anxiousness around finishing too quickly and then instantly turns into “dont do it” as soon as sex starts. I know its a mental problem as there are certain sexual acts that I can last an hour through even though the sensations are often better than intercourse (blowjobs) but as soon as intercourse gets to a place where my partner is enjoying it or a position i know will make her cum the “dont do it” starts and its impossible to come back from.
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Much the same as others have posted. My wife and I don’t have sex as often as we used to and now I’m so wrapped up in not blowing the opportunities that all I can think about is not cumming too fast, which never works. It especially sucks because we used have mind blowing sex and she could cum multiple times also. Now it’s not very often I can achieve that for her.
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Anyways asking if I’m good enough