I had a conversation with an uncle on mine who has since passed that was in relation to his time spent in the US as a truck driver. I asked the question - where is the best place you have ever been? To which his response was - I’ve been to lots of great places, so many I could not pick one as the favorite, but I will tell you the worst place I have ever been and that is in my own head while driving the truck. At the time, I was a lot younger and didn’t have a clue what he meant, nor did I care. I was just thinking we’ll that didn’t answer my question. Here I am now all these years later with my own demons, and I can understand his response fully. My equivalent is the time I spend thinking of my wife’s time before me. The ED has created a situation where neither of us is satisfied sexually. We try talk about it but then a comment like “I use to love sex now the let down makes me not want to even try” or “my sex drive was really high but the erection problems have made it that I have no interest in sex anymore” immediately my head goes to images of my wife before me and her having sex all the time with other people then me being a failure by not delivering for her. She has said that our marriage is more to her than sex but that makes me feel worse. We have a strong bond, and she is understanding, but of course, the inner critics for me run riot in my head. On top of this, my thoughts get more negative. Stuff like well accept it. You’re never having sex again, or you’re a failure that’s why she won’t touch you. The list goes on. Any opinions folks?
That inner critic is the pits. It’s amazing how your psyche cam turn against you when you’re searching for answers/reasons for things. Keep at matey, you’ll get there.
I’ve been there, and it really really sucks. The exercises Mojo has have really helped me to appreciate my own body and see it for more than a tool to pleasure my fiancee. I’m learning to see me in a more sensual way that’s outside of me getting aroused by my fiancee, whether by her touching me or me seeing her. That has been a great feeling and we’ve had great sex since I started seeing things that way.
This post and the comments are immensely helpful, as I am going through this exact situation with my wife. As a husband and as a man, this experience has been dreadful to fight through. However, seeing this interaction gives me relief to know that I can overcome this and things will be okay. Thank you all for your insight.