“I am a complete embarrassment”
The whole time my partner was completely relaxed during the whole ordeal. “
This is the one right here
Why did I lose hardness during foreplay?
I’m not a failure cause I will over come this and please my wife and will make our relationship even stronger and my wife was not disappointed because we can still please her in different ways
I will get better at getting hard as I have done this before, these issues are not permanent and I will get through them
Same here
She cared for me and loved me and was hoping we could work through our sexual problems
My wife says it’s ok that I cum early and she still enjoys it but I find it very hard to believe.
Even though she reassures me that it’s ok I struggle to believe it.
“I finished really fast”
But the other person wanted to see me again.
He didn’t cum after I did, he must have been so disappointed.
Mind reading
He actually said he got what he wanted after I came.
Not every sexual encounter has to end in an orgasm to be satisfying.
“What if this starts happening every time we are intimate?”
Fact: it doesn’t happen every time. In fact, went away for our anniversary weekend this last weekend and didn’t happen once.
This is working, I need to keep with it.
That if I go soft during sex, I won’t be able to get hard again. But I know this isn’t true because I overcame it recently, and eventually with every partner I’ve had, things got better.
If it happens, I just need to focus on sensations and go back to the types of touching that get me hard at first
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“I always have trouble with this so why bother. It’s too much of a hassle and I already know what will happen.”
Fortune Telling, Disqualifying the Positive, All or Nothing
-not always. Lately might be more accurate.
-you’re on meds right now that impact this
-you’ve been working on getting in better shape too.
-you’ve had satisfying sexual experiences with your husband recently
+“You’ve had a lot going on lately, plus you’re on meds, plus you want to satisfy your husband. It makes sense why that makes you feel this way.”
One thought I can try to reprogram is how I look at being the one to initiate things with a sexual partner instead of having them be the one to do so, and specifically that thought is the fear that it wouldn’t be reciprocated and that I’m not worthy of even trying due to a lack of control.
I cannot last long enough inside of my girlfriend for her to fully feel satisfied.
This is wrong, she has told me that she loves me being inside of her. No matter if it’s a short session, or a slightly longer session. We are working on making me last longer. It’s the connection she cares more about, not the length of time
If this doesn’t work again she’ll be even more disappointed. Each attempt is further apart.
Truth is, she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to. People do get disappointed when they think they’ll have sex and don’t, but she loves me and wants me to heal for my own happiness as well as hers.
I have been saying this woman and at the weekend she asked if I’d like to have sex. I said “absolutely”, we went back to hers, we had drinks quite a lot and I couldn’t get hard. This was a scenario I had been worrying about before hand. She said it’s the first time that’s happened to her, and did ask if it was her. I assured her it wasn’t, that it was the alcohol and me other thinking things. She said she understood and we had oral sex during which she came. Later that night/early morning I had a normal erection with no issues, again during oral sex. I worried that she’d not want to see me again but she does. I’m already worrying about not being able to get hard next time. Breaking the cycle of negative thoughts is hard.
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I will definitely cum very quickly again. It’s always the same story and it will disappoint her again. She doesn’t get anything out of it if it goes over so quickly.
Then again, last time I managed to go for ages until we litteraly got tired before I could even cum. This happened twice in a row, actually. So it is most definitely possible. And realistically we share these moments out of love for each other. She is so kind and understanding, she doesn’t need to go 30 minutes every time.
She has negative thoughts too, what I do about that. And she says them out loud which triggers fight- flight
She wants to have sex with me, but I will just let her down i can’t get an erection.
Fact: she wants to be close and intimate with me. So long as the emotion is there, I am not letting her down.
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My negative thoughts were about how my dick couldn’t instantly go back to being hard