Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 2)

Continuing the discussion from Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 1) - #10029 by fine-pink-buzzard.

Previous discussions:

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I have struggled with performanceanxiety from the time I was a teenager. I have had 2 major relationships in mylife and performance anxiety-induced ED was a part of it. I couldnt have great sex in all of themas well. Hooks up or short-term partners were the worse for it, usually after igot comfortable it got better.In my last relationship with my ex which lasted 10 months, she wasnot understanding or kind at all about it. Making comments, my pp is to small, comparedme to her ex-husband, and even asked if I was sure I wasn’t gay.My confidence was so shot from this experience. She was in myhead big time and I thought of it constantly, I was afraid to even pursue another relationship out of fear of failure.At the lowest point in my life, I stopped believing that I couldever have real sex.But I didn’t stop fighting. After a coaching which taught me to change my way of thinking and masturbating, I managed to get and obtain an erection.

You said Changed ways of thinking and masturbating. What do you mean change how you masturbate. There is really only one way to do that lol I think snyway.

It used to more than it does now. I feel like now sometimes I resign myself to the fact that I might not get it up and try to think more “ah well” rather than “oh shit”. My partner used to put pressure on me but she’s a lot more understanding these days.

Yes, all the time. I am 23 now and since the age of 15/16 I have struggled. I think it originated from too much porn use and since I was having problems most of the time then even by myself, when it came to my first experience with a partner at 18 I could not get it up. Not too long after when I was starting a relationship with my now partner I tried viagra. It did not work so I tried Cialis. The first few times were not great but then for a year + it would normally help a lot and I could have sex. There was flair ups when I would still get too much in my head. Now 5+years later and it is happening all the time. I tried numerous times to stop taking the medication and inevitably all I could think about was I wasnt going to get hard or wouldnt maintain it and thats exactly what would happen. I also have no libido at all. I have went to the doctor on 3 different occasions over the years and had blood work done but was always told my testoterone was good and they prescriped me cialis. This was between the age of 17-20, I gave up after the 3rd visit. I try to avoid sex and cant ever enjoy it. Knowing it is going to happen makes me anxious and im just waiting for the awful feeling of dread when I cant get it up. This has robbed my sexual youth and I dont know what to do

Yes sometimes I start to worry when I’m about to have sex that I won’t get an erection or if I do it won’t be firm enough or stay hard for long enough. It starts me on a cycle of second guessing and stressing myself out about something I know my body can do but because I’m stressing It’s a vicious cycle


Often, and having listened recently to the mediations section I now believe I have started at least to learn why. Personally as I am sure a lot of men do, my focus is on my partners pleasure… which is what I’m focused on, and as it may turn out…because of that, getting overly anxious about! Hopefully, I will learn to just go with the flow more and release some of the pressure which I am actually putting on myself! Hope that makes sense.

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I haven’t been able to get it up strongly or keep it up strongly for half hour for ages. I do get nervous nowadays with my partner and it’s probably why we don’t have much sex.

Ends with ED

This is something I’ve been dealing with since I became sexually active at 18. I’ve had so many sexual encounters that it’s like a negative feedback loop and I always feel like I’m going to fail and that results in anxiety and in result I’m left frustrated and embarrassed. It’s emasculating and now spilling over into how I feel about myself

It’s difficult for me to get out of my head any time, but the bedroom is the worst setting.

Yes i anxiety during sex scared i won’t be able to get it in & please my parents & it has happened from the time i was 14-15 now that i think about it in every relationship it has happened i always thought why does this happen now & never when i masturbate, it gets up but doesn’t stay up when i need it to in the bed

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I recently lived with my partner and we moved back into our parents house to save for a house. Ever since moving back home I have struggled and so has our sex life

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I can’t pin point what or why, but I think my issues have to do with negative self-talk and stress in my life.

Yes, it just happened yesterday.
It happened once, and yesterday my mind was like “you won’t get it up”.
I was not concentrated on the moment because my mind did not let me.

I feel anxious when I stop to change positions or even catch my breath that I’ll lose my erection so I dread that eventual event occurring.

Yea and i lose erection after that

Make me lose my erection

I get anxious during sex
My penis get dead prior to penetration

Yes I do. It makes my heart beat faster and then I’m not able to get an erection.