I (23M) have never had any problems getting and staying hard until I was recently with a girl that I really like. No issues with one night stands or anything like that but after talking and dating this girl for a couple months, when we went to have sex I lost my erection. It’s happened the past 3 times we have tried and I definitely think it’s related to performance anxiety. It seems I am having trouble once I get to know and have an emotion connection. I can get and stay hard during foreplay, oral, and other ways but once we go to penetration I lose it right away. I’m thinking about trying the pill just to see if I can get some confidence for the first time. I’m new to the mojo techniques and am going to try them before taking the pill. Luckily my partner seems to be very understanding of whats going on which has been helpful since this has really get emasculating. Any tips or thoughts are welcome and much appreciated!
@anon91404256 first don’t beat yourself about it. I can tell you from experience it doesn’t help. Second, the mojo lessons really helped me. Through understanding my anxiety really calmed down and I stopped spectating and criticizing myself so much. I found the meditation and mindful masturbation helpful.
If you have a partner who is supportive and understanding, you may have someone worth to investing in from my experience. If that is the case focus on being present and enjoying the moment more. For me, it takes my mind off my anxiety.
It can get better and it does sow doubt to have these experiences but you can get past performance anxiety. I did but Incant say I didn’t have to work at it.
I’m in the same boat, been seeing this really lovely girl, we’ve begun to fool around and trying to have sex, and I start excited and ready to go, but lose all enthusiasm as we move on… she been great about it, and would do pretty much anything to help… but I don’t know what to tell her… she very attractive and in my brain I know I want to have sex with her, but my gear just doesn’t seem to get the message. I’m a fairly recent widower, so I know that is causing issues, sure of it… but it’s never been this bad.
I’m hoping mojo helps, but also have a therapists and pills if it comes to that. I guess my advice to you, and to myself, be kind to ourselves, be patient, and if someone doesn’t want to be with us as we figure out our issue, that’s okay. This is where we are at right now, and that’s really okay… we have to start somewhere