Avoiding sex due to ed

I have been avoiding sex for quite some time now due to ed issues. I become anxious before penetration and think too much of staying hard but become soft the next moment. This has happened a couple of times now and every time I decide not to think about it, I start panicking. I have resorted to masturbating watching porn and have no issues there. Is there anyone else with the same problem and were you able to overcome it? New to mojo so looking for suggestions here

5 Likes

Hi brother , I have the same problem but now looks a biiit better . I was always thinking that my girlfriend is understanding and so close to me but still I wasn’t telling her exactly how I feel just bcs of fear of being judged and attracting my pride as a guy or man. Don’t be scared of cumming early , make like a game and even tho you will cum fast say to yourself I will do it and I will enjoy . I did this 3-4 times and it was getting better. We are different everyone but try this and mos important communicate with partner

2 Likes

Thanks bro. Any particular suggestions to get off your head when ready for sex as I feel that’s the main issue of getting soft? I have been trying breathing exercises and soft penis pleasuring. I get hard during foreplay or watching porn but when it comes to penetration, it softens. This is eroding my confidence as well

4 Likes

Need help getting out my head head too. It’s ruining my erections the second I start having sex

2 Likes

I think after one experience of it going soft before sex then sets us up to panic everytime. We think and concentrate on hoping to stay hard in the hours leading up to it and then when that moment arrives we think that’s what all this thinking was about all day this very moment and then we lose the damn thing !!

5 Likes

That’s what I’m saying dude, like it wasn’t a problem till I thought it’d be a problem now it’s on my mind all day

4 Likes

i have the same exact problem,im just now on my second day of mojo really hoping that it will help me to get back to normal!

2 Likes

I had this issue for years and it affected every aspect of my life. So, 1 - you are not alone. 2 - you can overcome it.

Therapy really helped, but going through mojo will too IMO. Try to understand the root cause of your sexual anxiety - what was your first experience that preceded this. Try to reflect on that and tell yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you, heal your younger self so you can come to terms with it. If you have an understanding partner, be completely open and true to yourself and work through it together, removing any pressure from the situations.

It’s fucking hard and it’s a life’s work but it’s achievable.

4 Likes

Really opened up to her and she’s willing to slow things down. I’m very appreciative and like her a lot so I’m willing to do anything to fix this. She’s made me cum twice after I started having this problem but I guess it was just right place right time or something so I know I’m capable. I feel good with the mojo exercises and hope it gets even better. Good luck boys

3 Likes

Thanks guys. I feel it’s very important to not think about getting or staying hard once it’s hard, but just enjoy the moment. I didn’t had any such issues in my 5 years of marriage so was quite shocked when this started.Once you go soft then the panic button starts in the brain every time you decide to have sex, which makes it even worse. I believe it’s more related to performance pressure since I want to start a family so focused on the cum rather than enjoying the whole process. Anyone who has overcome this, please shed some light on how you did since it will help a lot of folks here

2 Likes

yea - good to re-iterate that you’re not alone here. most dudes go through this at some point in their life. you’re not less of a man if this happens to you.

biggest success for me has been focusing on being present in the moment with my wife, enjoying the fact that she’s naked, looking at her and noticing the small, hot things about her body that turn me on. then take intentional, deep breaths as you enjoy the moment. when that voice of failure pops up, be patient - tell it to fuck off and remind yourself your body was made to enjoy sex and the process leading up to it. Try not to focus on the orgasm as the goal. Let every second of arousal be the goal. Take each moment as it comes.

This of course is easier said than done, but the more I practice it, the better sex is.

5 Likes

Well said. I needed to read that.