Always fumbling the bag

I’d consider myself a good looking guy who’s funny, but never been that “cool guy” sort of f-boy. I’m in good shape, I work out, train martial arts, have pretty good confidence when it comes to approaching women. I’d even say that I’m pretty good at leaning into a kiss when the moment comes. Usually up until this point, I’m hard in the times where it’d be normal to get turned on. Small touch of a hand, and I feel some blood rush to my d—k, as I think to myself “no way am I gonna have a problem tonight”. Later on as she rubs my stomach or whatever, the same idea happens. Once we’re kissing, my brain starts to kick in, I get nervous, and suddenly I’m soft as can be, and when the girl reaches down, she thinks I’m gay or something… I hate how I always fumble it the last second. I’m only 22 years old, and I’ve been dealing with this same damn issue ever since the first girl I hooked up with. I haven’t came with a girl in about a year and a half. I’ve had a couple failed experiences. Don’t get me wrong… I’m single, and I only get the chance for action every once in a while. I’m not that dude who’s pulling girls every weekend. Wish I could, but I’m just not that guy lol. Any advice besides box breathing in the moment??


Brotha. I’m literally the same as you… never had this issue before until a couple months ago I got soft with this girl when we started kissing… now it happens every time and it it used to never happen… no idea what’s going on honestly it has to be a head issue thinking the same, no way I’m gonna get soft and then I feel the wave of fear of getting soft while I’m kissing and them im soft…

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Mojo is really going to help you both begin to understand what is going on in your head and your body. You will learn exercises so that you can practice on your own. You will get your confidence back and know how to take it into partnered sex. You will get better at stopping the spectatoring - and understand what you need for your own arousal. Good luck : )

Honestly the only thing I’ve see on this app (I’m still just using the free trial) is to focus on an object to calm myself down, and “use box breathing” (which seems useless, and hard to apply in the moment while a girl is right there). I’m not doing these “soft penis” or pelvic floor exercises lol. How do you recommend I use Mojo to help myself? Doesn’t seem like I can gain much from here

I’m not a mojo rep but I think the way to use mojo is to do the exercises as suggested. This can require a change in mental approach as some of the exercises seem stupid - however many guys here have found them useful - and they are certainly unlikely to be harmful.

There are also the resources - recorded therapy sessions, meditations and so on and this comments section which is helpful to understand others experiences ans success or failures ( you aren’t alone in struggling to see the point of some of this)

Also it is not a quick fix thing here.

To be fair however mojo does not attempt to tackle in any large way interpersonal relationship issues in my view. And many guys are fine solo and struggle with partners some of which can be due to communication challenges and past negative relationship experiences that are not really focused on here - that’s probably an in person therapy approach.

However if that is not a thing for you, you may need to try other avenues such as in person therapy