What's one thought you can reprogram today? (early climax-dedicated thread)

:brain: :brain:

Yeah I am constantly beating myself up and thinking worst case scenario. I’ve basically convinced myself that being with me must be such a life ruining let down and the only reason she sticks around is because she doesn’t want to seem mean or selfish and that she is to far in to break up over this now.

Always think I can never last long enough and makes me less of a man

Last time I had sex I busted in less than a minute and I just laid there ashamed. I failed as a man. And she is going to leave me. One is all or nothing, the other catostrophizing. I been depressed for a year and less and less sex has made each interaction very high stakes. The high stakes has made my body very tense

cumming quick makes me less of a man.

Almost every instance of sex, I’ve came quick. It’s been a very hard time for my wife and I. I’ve feared she’ll never be happy. However somehow someway the last time we had sex, I lasted longer than usual. It was a completely unexpected series of events that lead up to the sex. Maybe it changed my thinking on the matter. Maybe this work I’ve been doing is helping. None the less, it’s gave me a confidence boost to keep doing the work and I feel it’s possible to last now. Maybe not every time but some of the time.

We have great foreplay, and she tells me she loves sex with me, but when it comes to penetration I cum within a minute every time. I feel like I’m disappointing her, and I’ll always be bad a sex. This doesn’t make sense, shes not lying to me and I can improve by putting the work in.

Thinking I ruined a night with my girlfriend and that if she had her way she’d choose someone else that could last longer

This is definetly where my issues lie, getting into my own head and it becoming a self fulfilling prophecy , I really hope this helps

Getting hard on command is not an easy thing to do. Makes me feel like less but I know one thing is for sure. It doesn’t always happen that way. I’ll get hard out of no where through out the day and wonder why. I know that I can still get hard and I can keep an erection. I just gotta keep working on myself because it’ll get better with time.

Cum very quickly during penetrative sex - makes me feel not worthy of her.

Cumming quickly doesn’t satisfy her and makes me less of a man

I don’t deserve this person

  • All or nothing
    There’s more to a relationship than sex
    One partner gave that impression but it was only one person and they might not be right for me

I’ll never get better

  • Over generalization
  • Fortune telling
    I can feel myself improving
    There’s no way to tell until I try
    It’s unproductive to think that way so why do it

I feel often less than a man

catastrophizing sex. I think that each time will be bad. even when it is not, I disregard the positive. I know I can hype myself up for sex by focusing on the positive and referring to positive experiences.

Maybe cumming quick isn’t that big of deal
It’s something I can be in control of eventually

I tried everything and I still cum quickly

Working on disqualifying the positive would be the ticket for me. My partner has actually told me she’d leave me if I don’t figure this out and reminds me she’s unsatisfied…soooo I feel like some of the others are negatively validating themselves.

I know I’ve had good runs before and this does not define me as a failure. It is possible even with probability against me to perservere through it to become better.

Overgeneralisation & Disqualifying the positive.
My partner says its not a problem when I cum quick, but it still causes me to put so much pressure on myself to last longer. But small incremental improvements and being better some times than others is still valuable and important to recognise.