What's one thought you can reprogram today? (early climax-dedicated thread)

I’ve always had an all or nothing mindset and that definitely is the theme of my negative self talk.

Cumming quick makes my partner view me as less of a man

My girlfriend just left me after I knew something was wrong and she finally admitted that the sex was the problem.

it’s time to stop expecting my own failure.

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Last week when my partner and I had sex, she kept wanting to cum / asking me to rub her clit to make her cum again and again. She finishes fairly easily from penetrative sex and seems to be sexually satisfied, but I sometimes I’d really like to feel more connected with her. At times I feel as though she’s using my body, and making her cum is the end goal, whereas it’s only part. I know she loves me dearly but she’s just one of those people who likes to cum a lot and I’d like for her to be a bit more present in the moment with me.

Anyways, to continue from the starting bit - as we were having sex and I’m rubbing her clit and she’s cumming, I zoned out and started to feel detached, as though I was just being used.
I’d categorise this as overgeneralisation (I think) and to reprogram this fairly new thought for me (feeling like she’s just using my body) the hard facts are: she enjoys the sex we have, and so do I, and just because she comes easily doesn’t mean that I should let myself feel any less disconnected. Also must remember that we’ve both had different sexual experiences; this can develop a kind of prerequisite towards how sex should be. I’m guilty of this too

We spoke afterwards and I told her how I felt, and she reassured me and said I didn’t know you feel that way, let’s work on it together :slight_smile:

Thanks for reading lol

I can reprogram my recent thoughts about PE by reminding myself that I’ve been under a lot of stress and that I may just need more time to practice arousal control methods that work best for me.

i finished early from sex again, i’m never gonna be able to stop finishing early from sex again.

I’m never gonna be able to last long enough to please my partner

Just spent 5 min typing here! Damn! Sometimes this site sux!

Found it to be helpful but I need to practice

That I’m unable to last long enough and that my partner is going to grow sick of me

The last several times I’ve had sex I’ve came within a minute. But one time I felt like I could go forever. So now I just need to figure out how to do that again and then every time

The last time I had sex, I could not delay and lasted less than a minute. I felt like I would never be able to improve, which is an overgeneralization.

That won’t last in bed and I’m never going to be able to get over…. I will, just gotta out the work in

I have become habitual/formulaic when it comes to sex because I tell myself I have to switch off to be able to last longer. This isn’t true and no one has a good time! I am focusing on the truth that when our sex is spontaneous it’s much more pleasurable for both of us, so that I will not act on the negative thoughts and be more engaged in sex.

I always thought that if I can’t satisfy her in bed, that she will leave me at one point and that all my other character traits won’t count.
In the end we moved together and she left me after a few months telling me that sex was bad since a year. I guess for some feelings there is just no positive thinking possible.

The last time my wife and I had sex, I ejaculated early again even though I’ve been making good progress on this app. I feel like I will never be able to satisfy her.

However, I kept thinking about not ejaculating which probably activated my flight or fight response which is probably the reason for finishing quickly. My partner prefers shorter sex but I would like to satisfy her fully at least once

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I go into the night knowing that i may end up having sex and already get nervous about it. If Im out in a weekend I’ve realized that when I’ve been drinking i last longer which tends to lead to me drinking too much in a given weekend night…

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I just don’t get why i finish so quick now when i used to last longer, even doing the stop start method sometimes i just can’t control it

I have always come too first therefore always will