I need a better way to tell my partner to calm down and stop overthinking because it sounds like she’s 100% the problem.
That sounds tough. Even great people can be pretty bad at conflict — most of us don’t get taught these skills as kids. I’m sorry the overthinking is creating drama for both of you.
Next time she seems like she’s going into that place, try guessing what she’s feeling and what she needs at the moment… what do you think she might need in these moments?
Telling my partner that I don’t know if a polyamorous relationship is working for me.
Getting my GF to open up more and understand any obstacles that I am facing
Luckily we rarely argue, I find after much trial and error that letting her say her piece and agreeing with her (even if I don’t really) is the best approach
Arguments on punctuality. One of my main weaknesses that I’ve tried my best to change and I get told that apologizing without changing is manipulating but it’s something I just can’t seem to do consistently.
I dont have a partner, but i think i would need to:
- be more self aware of when i get stressed out/ when i have negative feelings and not project those onto them
- be more aware of when they say/do something that maybe they’re under pressure/stressed out/need to talk/need support
Being open. Teamwork. Relationship balance.
Discussing my emotions. I am kinda stonefaced all the time, and it makes it hard for people to read how im feeling. This is exacerbated by me not really knowing when it’s appropriate to bring up my emotions or not. There have been several times where I have brought up my emotions when someone brings theirs to me. This, ostensibly, makes people around me feel unheard, while making me feel the same way
Start by making one conversation about it her. It needs to be all about her, just for a conversation. She will feel heard. If the conversation goes back to your needs, she will forget that this started about her. One conversation about her needs and worries and just listen. The next conversation can be about your needs. My wife and I were having this exact issue. I broke the stalemate wide open by just listening for a night that she didn’t feel loved or attractive. I agreed that sounded terrible but didn’t get defensive. (It was not true, but like me, you’ve probably said that a 1000 times and it seems like it’s not getting through.) I let her sit with that. The next night, we had great sex. We both felt listened to, we were a team where everyone is given credit.
Conflict that I am embarrassed about or conflict that I revolves around my innate emotions of jealousy.
Struggle with explaining what I’m feeling. Always muddle words
I think perhaps the thought that erection is love
I need to be a better listener