Reactive/LL partner

My partner is entirely reactive. I have to make the first move every time and it’s got to be in the right way. Not blunt not heavy but not so soft she doesn’t notice. This has led to anxiety on my part and therefore ED. I’m at a complete loss. She’s fed up and says it’s on me to work out how to turn her on but I have so little confidence I can’t even touch her anymore without over thinking. Just needing to vent after another failed evening of intimacy followed by an argument.

How long you been with her? If she’s committed to your relationship she should be helping you work through it not making you feel bad about it.


Are U guys able to talk about it at a time when you’re both in a good headspace and not in the bedroom?

To me a relationship is about and for both partners, and the weight should never be on one person. It sounds like it is your partner who needs counselling.

Normally we say don’t skip to later phases, but it might help you to check out “Communicate for a better bond” in Phase 5!