Gf issues are tough

My girlfriend doesn’t want to try to have sex if she is going to be let down. I can’t continue to work on the ed issue if we are not trying. Any thoughts

Similar boat with my wife. Just keep doing some of these exercises and meditations daily and stay positive. It’ll get better over time and she should be more understanding

I appreciate that! I’m working on it but man is it rough. She is younger than I by 16 years so that adds to ut but I’m keep pushing and working. Just having a place to talk about it helps

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Yeah it is difficult. On the one hand why have sex you may not be enjoying but how can you enjoy it if you don’t have it!

I have recently read a book recommended to me called “ Coming Together” about sexual connections in relationships ( long term committed ones) - its approach is to prioritize pleasure / enjoyment over “sex” per se and to only have sex you enjoy. There’s more to it than that but the idea to perhaps take the sex pressure off can be counter intuitive - I’ve found my partner is much much more responsive having taken sex off the table for a while than when I was (unwittingly) “ demanding” sex all the time - early days but we feel more connected and sex will return when we are back to being more relaxed together and simply enjoying touch for the pleasure of it. This of course only works if the relationship is not at threat - if sex causes a relationship breakdown that author suggests there’s actually non sexual issues to address in the relationship first.


When there are problems in the bedroom it can really impact on the whole of the relationship. Communication will be key, it will be important for your partner to know that you are actively trying to do things differently. It might take a bit of time to improve things and there will be times where you will need to ‘practice’ things by yourself to gain confidence. But you do want to keep connection, often touching with the ‘rule’ that there wont be penetration whilst you are ‘working’ on things can make a huge difference, taking the pressure off both of you. Sharing what you are trying to do will help make a deeper connection. Good luck.

Dude leave. Why would you stay in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t even care to try. She’s actively making it worse by acting that way and hurting you. I know it’s hard when you’re in the relationship. I’ve been there. But think about if you’re friend or son told you this about his girlfriend. What advice would you give them?

I just go down on her and make her come instead, so she gets something out of it. But my Gf is great she has lots of patience and is willing to try. Also, tell her where you struggle, if she cares about you she will understand.