Girlfriend avoiding sex

Hi guys. I’ve been with my GF now for about 18 months. I’ve had ED issues since we met and now she’s saying she’s avoiding sexual encounters because it ends up in disappointment and frustration. This isn’t helping me at all. I’ve suggested we go to bed ‘and see what happens’, but she seems to be avoiding intimacy. Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks.


Have you got to the Sensate exercises in mojo? Did you do the couples version?

If not and everything outside of the bedroom is going well, then maybe start there. If things outside of the bedroom are rocky and you want to keep the relationship, then find a couples therapist or some way for you two to connect and communicate.

1 Like

I’ve been in similar boat.

One thing I have realized - if the sex is not fun you don’t need to do it !!! Why are you having sex if it’s frustrating and disappointing? Although this is a total mind fuck - it makes sense. You could Try to just ease off having sex for a while - enjoy making out, touching, doing things together and rebuild trust between you.

My partner and I have just taken sex off the table for a while. She is so much more affectionate towards me and I her it’s been really nice. Just appreciating being touched in non sexual ways - we will rebuild towards sex in time.

To be fair I’m in a long term relationship so we have time - but this idea to just relax around sex and make enjoyment key has been good.


Thanks for your responses, guys. We will be attending couples counselling, following a chat with my GP. Thankfully, we are close and kiss and caress one another a lot. I really appreciate your input. Thanks again.


Hey all the best & hope the counselling helps you both through.

1 Like

Before supplementing with Sildenafil, my wife and I would sometimes just lie naked together, if I’d had a few too many disappointing attempts. She was the opposite: she wanted to keep trying, but I just felt hopeless. The lying naked together seemed to help me feel more comfortable, though, and taking it easy on sex for a while seemed to help me get it up when we’d eventually try again.