I used a condom for the first time in 7 years during a hook up after a long-term relationship had ended. I struggled with the sensitivity and staying hard and since then I’m constantly in my head and spectatoring
I know it’s very hard for me to get aroused, at least in past experiences having sex with other people. So I keep thinking “ugh, this is gonna take forever. They’re gonna get bored and frustrated and it’s not gonna be fun…”
knowing that i won’t be able to finish unless i masturbate myself and that I’ll normally go soft before i put it in and it will take a good awkward 5 minutes of making small talk while i try to thumb it in like squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out the tube
I can get an erection during a blowjob but have to stick it in missionary quick enough to not let my anxiety take over. If she tries to sit on it after, I think of the first time I got soft which was in that position and I will go limp.
Missionary and even cowgirl position, any other position I can hold an erection
The transition from foreplay to intercourse always gets me anxious. Not only because there’s a break in the action but I start to feel like we’re moving from the rehearsal portion to the main event. The second obstacle I hit is during intercourse if I start to lose the quality of my erection. The voice in my head says, “no, no, please no, not again. Focus, just focus. Nope it’s too late, this is hopeless”…and, well, you know the rest
Transitioning from foreplay, sometimes even during foreplay. I’m automatically in my head and it makes it difficult for me to even focus on anything but the hope of me getting a full erection.
Anytime I’m hooking up with a girl
Moving between positions
Yes, transitioning from foreplay to intecourse and when I am about to put the condon on
Often when I want to transition from foreplay to intercourse. I worry it’s too early and that it will hurt for her. That or when she looks at my penis while it’s not fully hard.
Putting condom on
Just the sex to start I get scared I’m not going to get hard and if I do not keeping it for more than a minute
Finishing too quickly
Changing positions. Worrying about STI’s. Worrying about what my partner is thinking.
First time with a new person. Being drunk. Condoms. Reverse missionary and doggy positions. When attention is on me. Also I can be hard all day and be having fun because sex is out of the question but when the girls accepts to have sex that’s when it all becomes serious and I get the problem
Condoms, I feel as though they de-sensitises the whole experience, so I do feel like it adds a burden to maintaining an errection.
When she starts to reach for my penis
When I start sweating. My head says - “you’re tired now, you won’t be able to keep it up for long”.
Simply, the thought of hooking up when hooking up makes me look at my dick, and if it’s not fully hard I freak out about not getting hard and get anxious about getting anxious almost… It sucks!!