Hi Iām 29, been a virgin until a few months ago. I watched a lot of porn over the years to get by which may be relevant as to the issues. My girlfriend and I are sexually active but I get performance anxiety so I donāt stay hard when Iām upright mostly or when I try to put on a condom and itās taking a minute and once I get soft doing that itās quite difficult to get hard again except I start foreplay again, once Iām in hard with or without a condom itās all good. sometimes with the condom in between positions it can happen again. I have no issues when I take a pill but I rarely take it so I donāt get dependent on it. Itās really frustrating. One thing thatās a go to now is once I give her head Iām super erect and thatās how I have some semblance of continuity now. Asides that itās not the greatest feeling. My doctor says nothings wrong physically though I think I need to do more kegels/physical exercises still but everything points to performance anxiety and I have no idea how to go forward.
Itās all mental. These exercises will surely help you, sounds like youāre half way there. Best of luck.
I hope so, thanks for the encouragement.
Examine why the performance anxiety. Are you comparing yourself to the porn actors? Do you think they represent reality? Be kind to your self and just be you. Trust your body. Sex is about the intimacy and mutual pleasure and thatās all you need to focus on.
Work through this app and youāll get there as weāre all going through the same issues.
Iām not sure what the answer is to condoms as I feel exactly the same. They interrupt the flow and I just loose it too. Thank goodness I donāt always have to use them.
I used to struggle all the time with the condom part on occasion as it doesnāt feel great having to stop and put one on and would just take me out of the zone.
However what I found helped me was whilst masturbating by myself putting one on so I started to train my brain to be like āoh this is a normal part of sexā. Not every time but often enough - I get itās expensive and wasteful but I chalk it up to an investment in myself.
Secondly I also tried to incorporate it into my fantasies as well. Like as your thinking about having or reviving oral from your partner as foreplay, imagine the next stage where you go and get a condom and put it on before you have sex as you would in real life and it then becomes something youāre excited by - possibly a bit odd but hey if it works it works haha
I found these helped me, might be worth a try 
This is an interesting approach especially because I try not to feed my fantasies anymore so I avoid porn or anything that could arouse me thatās not physical. Maybe Iāll try this in a few months if I see no progress there. Thank you.
Haha very lucky for you man that you donāt have to use it. Takes me a lot to ejaculate using it because I donāt feel that sensation as much. I use to compare myself but I donāt anymore. I think now itās just the fear Iām not going to satisfy my woman enough that day if it goes down. So I go into fight or flight by any distractions