Been single for a while now and seeing a girl I don’t get hard from fore play or kissing even though I’m into it. Relied heavily on porn the last 4 years and even if I get hard with her I loose it before penetration. Confused if this is full on ED or anxiety. Been hard to wrap my head around as I’m still in my 20s
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Porn doensnt have to be the problem. I dont watch porn for over a year now and i have the same problem as you. I still get very wet but my penis wont stay or get hard in foreplay.
It could be a mental or a libido problem 
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I struggled with this myself until recently, for me it was performance anxiety. Worrying if I’m going to do a good enough job, worrying im gonna go soft, worrying im not gonna perform as well as i normally do. All these questions in my head made it really hard to relax and i saw sex as a task after a while. If any of this resonates with your own thinking its more than likely performance anxiety. But the important thing is its easily fixable. Im not perfect just yet but on the mend and what really helped me is asking myself why im so worried and then rationalising those thoughts.
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Definitely exactly how I’m feeling. I have been feeling a lot in my head about it because I don’t want to not pleasure her. As it has happened the last few times I feel like it has become more of worry during and I start to overthink once I do start getting hard. I’m always thinking will it work will it stay hard I think I need to stay more in the moment and enjoy it. Do you do stuff to calm your head and keep you in the right headspace? Luckily she has been open talking about it with me which is helpful as this is new for me to navigate but we are both wanting to figure it out as we think it’s an important thing we both want in the relationship.
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I was hooked on porn and playing solo for a looong time. It was easier than the shame of losing it attempting sex with the wife. New gf. Same issue. I’ve realized in hooked on porn and too familiar with my own grip! Well. That’s part of it… All but gave up porn and solo. Noticed some improvement in erections… along with this app, I think I’m on My way back to normal sex…
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This is exactly like me. Intrusive thoughts at terrible timings. Would get hard as we masturbated each other. As soon as it got inside, I’d have a few thrusts and that would be it, I’d be softening and couldn’t get out of my head. Away to start seeing someone to talk it through, but tablets from the doc seem to have helped
You’re actually describing what I’m going through with in my new relationship. We have foreplay, it’s hot we both get hard and when I’m to penetrate it’s like clockwork, just goes soft - or softer.
We talk about this a lot and I have an understanding partner. But it really bugs me that it is like clockwork. Have identified the though that always will come at the moment I am to enter though ”will it stay hard or will it happen again” of course it happens again as I am in my head. Annoyed and desperately trying to find methods of getting out of the head. The breathing seems to work. Focusing on the body and being in the moment. What I envy is that partner has wanted to try with other people, ie three together. It’s the same and I feel embarrassed. He has no problem going hard regardless of situation and I have asked what turns him on. The statement is that he is turned on to the other person and that they are horny. Trying to switch my focus on to the other person and also in to what I feel here and now - easier said than done
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