Issues getting an erection and staying hard with a partner

I’ve had issues with getting an erection and staying hard whenever I’m with a partner. By myself I’m able to stay hard and masturbate 4 times a day with ease. But it’s never with a partner, I can’t get hard. Also, I’m unable to use condoms with a partner. When I’m by myself I’ve used it with no problems whatsoever. I’m a bit of late bloomer, I’m 29. But I’m in perfect health. Everything is normal. At one point I would watch porn and masturbate 3-4 times a day. Now I’m trying to refrain. I also suffer from social anxiety. I wonder if there’s a link there.


I am so sorry that you are dealing with issues with ED with a partner I too am suffering performance anxiety/ phycological ED in certain circumstances but never a problem by myself. I would love an expert from Mojo to comment and impart their thoughts to help us out.

i’m not a mojo expert just a fellow sufferer but found listening to the therapy sessions in the app helpful. The one on sexual intelligence highlights that issues often arise with partners that don’t arise solo. Ultimately this can comes down to relationship between you - trust, communication etc that clearly aren’t issues in solo or porn watching situations . So no answers from me but wonder if reflecting on relationship side may point to where the issues lie for you/ us

You’re incredibly desensitized. I know because I was the exact same way and turned it all around. Social anxiety was just the tip of the iceberg for me. I wasn’t sleeping well, I was exhausted, depressed, unmotivated, and apathetic. You’re probably some of these things too you just don’t notice it because you have no reference point. I guarantee you 100% that excessive porn use is what’s causing your Ed AND your social anxiety. Stop for a month or two and see what happens. And read the book Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson. Your eyes will be opened up to a world you can’t believe. It has nothing to do with religion or morality. The book doesn’t mention either of those things once, it’s a purely scientific point of a view.

And the more you try to prove to yourself that you can get an erection by masturbating, the harder it will be to get an erection with a real partner, because a real partner is nowhere near as stimulating as porn. No matter how hot she is. Also viagra won’t work because that works by blocking PDE-5 from breaking down the cGMP protein in your blood stream, which is the hormone that dilates the veins in your penis to draw blood. But that only works if it’s a physical issue where cGMP is breaking down too quickly. If you’re desensitized by excessive porn use, your dopamine system is completely out of balance, and if your dopamine it out of walk you can’t get aroused in your brain, which means your brain can’t release cGMP to signal your penis. There’s nothing Viagra can do to protect the cGMP from breaking down if your brain isn’t releasing cGMP in the first place. The only solution is to stop watching porn for a couple months and allow your D2 dopamine receptors and androgen receptors to come back. Then your erections will come back naturally. I know it’s not the answer anyone wants to hear, but masturbating 4 times a day is not natural and you’re totally overloading your system. You really shouldn’t be doing it more than a couple times a week and not watching porn at all when you do it. Trust me your sex life will completely change, and I’m not just talking about getting rock hard erections. Your orgasms and your senses will be incredibly heightened.

Also I guarantee you that you wouldn’t be able to get off by yourself four times a day while not watching porn at all. You’re bypassing your body’s natural satiation mechanisms with superstimulation. High speed internet porn (which is when the ED problems really started skyrocking) has only been around for 20 years, and humans have been around for millions of years. Your body isn’t equipped to handle it. In 2001, the percentage of men below 40 yrs old with ED was about 3%, and by 2011, the same statistic was at 39%. Think about that for a second. What changed in those 10 years?