Condom anxiety was always an issue for me, but fortunately I don’t have to use them any more.
Now it is the transition from foreplay to sex. I might feel “ready” during foreplay but by the time I get into position to penetrate, I can already feel myself going soft.
The anxiety is ever-present. It’s been an issue, for a long time. For me, it’s almost unavoidable.
I find it impossible to maintain an erection during a blowjob. The attention on my penis just kills it for me.
It happens when I anticipate having sex and then start thinking too much about it
When it goes from foreplay to sex
Fear my stomach just be acting scary and that’s why I’m can’t get hard I’m always in this fight or flight state and this one woman just really fucked me up mentally
The first time with a new partner, when they start grinding on me, I start wondering whether I’m getting hard fast enough for them or whether they are noticing that I’m not hard. Putting a condom on is also a trigger.
Basically the only thing that truly interrupts it for me is my own mind. When I should be feeling pleasure and focusing on her skin and other bodily parts rubbing and touching mine, my mind is wondering whether or not this is going to be successful this time or if I’m going to let myself, as well as her down.
If we start getting ready fast, I get nervous that I need to get ready quick, triggering my fight or flight
Having to stop to get a towel or get the lube interrupts the flow and my erection goes away. Then it’s hard to get back into it. Everything feels rushed
Exactly that moment of opening the condom packet, the inner critic fully takes over.
Penetrative sex, or hoping I stay hard during foreplay
When we try to do missionary or switching positions
Meeting for a hookup and the person is lay naked on their bed expecting me to get stuck in and not mess about
Moving to penetration is definitely the moment of panic. Again it’s the ‘what if’ moment that self fulfills almost every time, especially if I’m tired.
When she first reaches for it in the transition between foreplay and penetration. I feel that my projection of her expectation adds an amount of pressure that has the capability of killing my erection.
I agree with almost every single comment here. It happens right before putting the condom on and during.
Condoms, etc
Usually I feel the spectatoring begin while I am taking my clothes off or putting a condom on. The brief moment when I am taking my pants off or putting a condom on is just enough for me to lose sight of the situation and enter into my own head. I am both thinking about what my penis is doing and judging myself that I am not getting hard enough. Both of these are contrary to the actual situation happening between me and my partner
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Definitely the condom - it happened the first time I ever tried to have sex and as a result I lost confidence from the first ever time using them. That’s the route of all my erection anxiety