When she wants to go again…
Transitioning from role play to intercourse & sometimes even before we start doing anything I’m already in my mind thinking is it going to get hard or not this time & I think that’s what my biggest issue is. Getting out of my mind and into my body and enjoying the moment more than thinking if it will work or not.
I’ve had a couple of drinks. I’ve already masturbated that day. Birthdays/valentines day/date nights because of expectation
When she is on top, I lost an erection a couple times while she was on top and now I’m just totally in my head that I can’t keep it up when she gets on top. As soon as she starts it I begin to lose it.
Comdoms create the fear of im not gonna feel anything so it’s going to kill my erection.
Trying new things makes me feel like I won’t be able to keep it up long enough to enjoy them.
Not finishing in “time” in my own head.
When it feels like it loses hardness
Stopping for reach out to something. Seeing my partner is not as excited.
Putting on the condom definitely breaks the flow. Then I feel the performance anxiety and start spectating “Oh I gotta put it on before I go too soft hurry!” and well I’m never fast enough. And even if I do somehow manage to put it on, I’ve already lost it. And now then it just becomes troublesome.
I don’t know why I lose it I just know I do halfway through. Idk if it’s expectations or performance anxiety but I lose it
If I’ve had a bad thought about someone other than my partner or don’t feel like having sex I worry I won’t be able to get into it because I feel guilty.
Jumping straight into sex without foreplay.
Putting a condom on. When I first started using them a few years ago, I was getting bad reactions to latex. I didn’t know it was a thing and persevered. Got friction burns. It started out as numbness, killing sensation.i think there’s still a voice that says it’ll still happen, even though we use non-latex now.
The moment of penetration. I can be completely erect but as soon as it gets to the point of penetration and it doesn’t happen instantly then it’s game over.
Putting on Condoms used to be the biggest thing, but now it seems to have leaked into all situations. I think that having sex with someone for the first time also creates a scary situation in which I am not able to get hard.
The spectatoring is definitely an issue I have throughout. From the get go I’m so conscious of whether or not I’m getting hard that it prevents me from really paying attention to my partner or what they are doing.
Just the thought of not satisfying her enough puts the fear of God in me. What if she leaves me? What if I mess something up irreversibly? I just want the mindset of having fun but I feel like everything is banking on my ability to perform.
I have to try and get myself hard before I start because I worry about it not happening during sex
Transitioning from fore play to sex feels like things go from sexy and playful space to a space where I’m focused on performing.
Sometimes stopping for condom could lead to softening in during penetration, sometimes missionary position brings less friction, whic leads my brain to think more about the feelings and whether my partner is enjoying her time or not and if she is judging me right now or not. These type of thoughts what bring it down
Going from foreplay to sex, especially when putting a condom on. Ejaculating during foreplay. Having to go for a second round and worrying I don’t have the stamina for it.
If I get close to ejaculation early, I obviously don’t want it to end so if I stop or try to switch positions or pleasure her for a bit to prevent my ejaculation, I lose my erection and then the whole mood is gone