Why does this always happen - emotional reasoning - it doesn’t always happen, you haven’t had enough experience to say it always happens. Each encounter is always different in it’s own way, each encounter improves on itself, again give it time and patience
What if I can’t can get hard for sex next time? Only one time you weren’t able to have sex. You know when you relax and focus on enjoying the moment getting an erection is effortless.
I couldn’t get an erection and my partner had to tell me “it’s ok”.
He seemed alright that it didn’t happen in the moment, and we were able to enjoy our time otherwise
It was early in the morning after we were out late, my body was physically tired and I just wanted to sleep
It doesn’t happen every time. Ive sometimes linked it to getting enough rest or feeling generally tired,I think.
The last time I couldn’t get hard when she was trying to give me a handjob, and I thought it was my fault. That made me tense and I couldn’t get hard. In retrospect, it was a very spur of the moment thing and we didn’t have lube or anything to keep it wet and it hurt a bit. If the situation was better I probably would have enjoyed it instead of feeling guilty
-Last time I had sex, I couldn’t get hard during foreplay, so I won’t get hard this time. Overgeneralization. I have gotten hard with foreplay before. It was difficult, but it did work. I have gotten erections just dancing with a girl in high school. I was worried about what happened in the past, so it makes sense I struggled here. I was too deep into my thoughts, and I wasn’t focusing on the moment.
-I thought my partner didn’t have a good time and was only trying to comfort me. Disqualifying the positive. My partner said they were happy I was touching them. They didn’t seem to care that much about being soft. I put effort into making the other person feel good. Everyone I have been with looked to be having a good time.
-I thought I was a failure and that I would never get an erection again. All or nothing and fortune telling. You have already seen improvements. There is hope. You will get through this. A good sexual interaction does not require an erection.
I can’t satisfy my wife because I can’t maintain a hard enough erection to orgasm during penetrative sex.
Reframe: I can maintain an erection to completion, whatever that looks like, because I have before.
Sex is enjoyable even if it doesn’t end with me cuming.
Facts: my wife reached orgasm so she is satisfied.
I can enjoy the moment and be present with the pleasure if I keep practicing with Mojo.
I can reprogram the disqualification of the positive!
She doesn’t care if I’m not getting hard but I’m totally disappointed
I was about to penetrate but then suddenly lost my erection. I was embarrassed and shamed afraid of what she would think of me. She was really good about it and I pleasured her orally which she liked and then we just cuddled until we fell asleep. In the end it was a nice experience because we spent a long time in physical contact. I was also very tired when we started and should have slept instead of trying to have sex after such a long day.
Last time I had sex I found it hard to maintain an erection. This was with a new partner. He tried to reassure me and told me that it didn’t matter and that he was still enjoying spending time with me. In my head, I was telling myself that he didn’t really mean what he was saying. I imagined that in his head, he was wondering whether I had gone soft because I didn’t find him sexually attractive (category: disqualifying the positive)
In reality, I have no evidence that that is what he was thinking. I got hard at the start of the encounter and a few times throughout - evidence that I was actually sexually attracted to him. We went out for dinner after sex - evidence that he probably did enjoy spending that time with me.
I bet she’s super disappointed with me
I’ve ruined the night
All or nothing
- I wasn’t able to get hard during oral sex.
- My partner must think I’m a loser.
- Mind-reading
- I wasn’t feeling satisfied through oral sex, and my partner said she was having fun. No evidence to suggest that she explicitly thinks I am a loser.
- I wasn’t able to get hard with my partner’s actions at the time because I wasn’t getting turned on.
I just really wanted to be hard during sex. I really wanted to have it and kept going soft.
In reality, though, there were ways I could have enjoyed it with a soft (or not fully hard penis).
When I met my current partner o was having an issue where I could t get hard with a new partner and it took a few times until I was able to break through to not overthinking.
At the time I thought it would never work, but the evidence shows that with a bit of patience the problem goes away
I should be able to stay hard for the entire duration of a sexual experience
That I should be able to stay hard during the entire duration of sex and go a second round shortly after
It didn’t work perfectly last time we had sex. I’m positive and confident next I’m with my boyfriend, we will have great sex.
I couldn’t get hard while having sex for the first time with a partner I’ve been seeing for a while. It’s normal to be nervous for our first time, not wanting to disappoint. We were able to have sex the next morning. This shows I am able to get it up
I let my partner down because I lost my erection midway thru foreplay. She wasn’t disappointed but wanted to help me thru it. It was our first time together so I know it’ll improve and my performance anxiety will disappear the most we have sex.