Post break up SPA

Wondering if this relates to anyone and if they have recovered. Never had a problem with erections, in fact it was usually the opposite problem - regular, painful erections. Since a difficult break up after a 5 year relationship, I can get an erection but not maintain. Even during masturbation it goes flat after a few mins. Recently got a new partner and she’s amazing, very attractive, supportive, but I just can’t maintain an erection and as it goes on I feel like I’m not worth her time and get even more in my own head. Anyone else experienced this? If so what exercises were most helpful?

i just wanted to tell if anybody can relate to me im masturbating since 10 years to Porn! & recently i have stop watching porn i having a erection problem with a girl i cant get hard enough in real but in virtual i am able to get in hard do anybody know whats the real problem

Love the conversation. Similar situation. And I’ve attempted to stop using porn to increase the desire for sex, but real life gf and it shuts down.

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Yes! Married for 16 years and no problem. But now that I’m back dating the pressure kicks in and my mind takes over with worry.

And as it has continued it gets worse.

Meditation beforehand and daily has helped. Noticing thoughts has helped. And soft penis acknowledgment helped.

So now it’s more likely to work. But hasn’t really become consistent. Just improved

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I’m right there with you man. 7 year relationship ended and I’m completely flatlined. I’m hoping it gets better over time.

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Similar story for me, never had problems at all in the past until my marriage ended via her cheating and BAM! I got ED problems almost immediately Problem is, this hasn’t recovered in the few months following and I’m with somebody else and it’s kicking the sh1t out of my confidence.

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Currently in this rut myself. Not sure where to turn, multiple partners right now but It seems like my 5 year relationship psychologically killed me. I think we are overthinking it and always telling and stressing ourselves that we have to keep the erection as hard as possible as long as possible.

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Hey bud, I just wanted to say, you are absolutely not alone. I never had any issues whatsoever prior to the breakup of my partner who I had been with for 5 years. I gave everything into that relationship and lost myself along the way.

Since that day, it still affects me. The most important factor I’ve found amongst anything is having a partner who gives you the ability to feel supported, heard and most of all, loved.

One thing which has worked for me when I start to fixate on my chap going flat is slowing down and transition internally, to externally; notice how your partner looks, how it feels. Sometimes I stop completely and lay next to my partner. I allow myself to breathe, giving myself the time to become re-centered whilst just chatting to them. Eventually you can start to touch each other and build up the passion again.

Just know bud, you’re never alone and it’s ok.


Lovely response mate, thank you. Sounds like we’re in very similar situations as I can completely relate with the losing yourself in the relationship. I think the ED is just the tip of the iceberg of anxiety and confidence issues since the breakup.

I’ve actually had some success even since writing this post. I think seeing a) that I wasn’t alone especially at my age and b) just learning more about the problem through the introductory courses has done wonders. I’ll try your advice about breathing and focusing on your partner rather than yourself, better to overthink about something positive than stressing about how you look or what you’re doing. Definitely having a supportive partner who understands that it isn’t anything to do with her has been a huge help as well.

Hope you keep seeing success yourself!

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Since writing this post I’ve definitely seen more success. Something important for me was having one partner who was very understanding and supportive of the situation. I imagine if you’ve got multiple partners it’s focused more on sex and so you want to perform which will lead to more anxiety and ED.

Have had the exact same issue. Pre relationship and even during the relationship I had immense sex drive. Could go on for hours straight and do it multiple times daily. ED kicked in as soon as I broke up and it’s been extremely bumpy after it. I think having a good understanding person to explore with again really helps. Still struggling 1.5 years on but it’s getting better. Mojo helps too

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My wife of 10 years recently passed and i found out once she died that she had been cheating on me.
Trying to perform with a new partner is impossible. At 35 I’m really struggling with it as i was always struggling to not get an erection even at inappropriate times. Now I can’t get a solid one or maintain it even to masturbate. Woman I’m seeing is gorgeous and I am so excited by her but just fail every time. She is being extremely understanding but i feel she thinks it’s her thats the issue.
I don’t even feel like I’m thinking about anything other than wanting to fuck her but i just can’t maintain.
Has anyone truly had success in overcoming this?

That’s exactly how my problems started. Then it got worse because it would only happen when I was into someone and the more I like them the worse it got

I have definitely experienced a similar situation, with the resulting feelings of inadequacy. I’m just starting my Mojo journey so I don’t have anything relevant to add but, you’re definitely not alone there.

Not necessarily from a break up, but my issue went from not being able to get it up at all, to being back to “normal”, and then, I’m now stuck in a goes soft after a bit phase. I can’t get myself hard very easily, but my partner does immediately. But then if I don’t start right away, it goes down. Even something as quick as changing positions, running out of breath, or getting distracted by a random noise is enough to make it go completely soft immediately

I had been single for several years before meeting my girlfriend, during which time i watched alot of porn. Also my last ex was nasty, controlling and would always put me down about everything even the clothes i wore so my confidence overall was hugely affected. My current girlfriend is very understanding and caring and we have spoken about these things at length

I feel erection but the time when my head touched there is no erection

Hey man, I am experiencing very simmilar thing. I had been left by my ex of 3 years 6 months ago. Met a wonderful woman, current romantic partner and long term relationship interest. When we have sex I can maintain a semi to 3/4 aroused state which is not very pleasant during sex. She is very suportive, but I miss having care free 100% aroused sex. I have only started with Mojo ED and wish to find the solution like you. Hope we manage.

I hadly had erection these days and it has really become worrisome to me, though my wife may not complain about this in my presence, but I knew she will., In my early twenties and thirties I never knew I could be complaining of erection… But on turning 40s I started experiencing it and I feel bad about this… I visit doctor and they recommend some pills to me which I stared taking, though it worked I gain erection but it doesn’t last. Please how can I get over this thing call erectile dysfunction. Thank you

I can feel overwhelmed by the eagerness of my partner. And often I’m afraid that I cannot give what the other desires or expects from me.