I’ve literally just joined the site and am hoping I can get the help I need.
I’m gay, and now in my early 40s, but I can think back to losing my erection during sex in my mid 20s. I possibly think this was alcohol related, because when I went on a night out, I drank like there was no tomorrow. And losing my erection didn’t happen every time. Having said that, I do remember times being blind drunk and still having an erection that lasted ages, so I’m not 100% sure if that was the reason it started happening.
Nowadays, it happens all the time. It’s frustrating me more and more as I have a husband who I adore. I can achieve an erection pretty much ok with some kissing, but soon it will be gone for good.
I’ve recently spoken to a doctor who believes it to be a psychological issue. And I should mention I eat quite healthy, don’t smoke, and don’t drink often anymore.
I do wonder if my past experiences and memories of it happening, have developed into the anxiety issues I have today. It feels like it’s all I think about at the moment, 24/7.
I also can’t shake the feeling of it being a physical problem that wasn’t obvious, because I can often maintain an erection if I lay perfectly still in bed just before sleep (or in the morning), but the moment I sit up or stand up, it goes down instantly.
Over the past 4 years I’ve been doing kegel exercises in an effort to help, and though I can definitely say I now have much stronger erections than I’ve ever had before (when I get them!), this hasn’t solved the problem fully.
My main goal is to be relaxed and confident in my ability when I’m with my husband, because I want more than anything for us to regularly be able to enjoy being intimate together. I don’t want to be constantly putting it off like I am now.
I really hope this site can provide some help for me!
Anyway, that’s my rather unexpectedly long story I swear I only started this post to say hello and introduce myself, and it turned into an essay!!