Fear of topping

I’m a bi guy and I consider myself vers.
I only started having sex with guys a few years ago and a couple of times after bottoming I was supposed to top but it wouldn’t work out, and I basically carried on that anxiety also in my sexual life with my female partner.

I’m now at the point where I just masturbate or if we decided to have sex I bottom, for fear of not being able to stay hard.
I’ve noticed that if the pressure is taken off me having to be hard, then I can have a solid erection but still haven’t tried topping in a while for fear of failure.

Has anyone else turned to bottoming as a response to this kind of anxiety? Is there a way back?