Iām a top in the bedroom and it is something I really enjoy. However, even with ED meds I have difficulty being reliable and consistent with an erection strong enough for penetration.
Sometimes itās completely normal, sometimes itās too soft to even start and more commonly I lose the erection in the middle of the act.
Anyone else have a similar problem and have any suggestions?
Iāve had the same thing happen. Thatās why Iām on this app. The guy Iām with now is really understanding and thatās helped me out a lot. Iām frustrated with myself about it. Weāre both demisexual, so itās good that he understands I have to be comfortable with someone first to be able to top. But the thought in the back of my head is āhow long will he be okay with this?ā or āis he enjoying what Iām doing?ā And then boom, soft.
Same. Let us know if anything helps! 
Same here ā Iām vers but Iāve been the top in relationships and I felt a lot of pressure / anxiety about it sometimes. AND I have always had trouble finishing when I am topping. The mojo sensate touch exercises have helped a lot with staying hard for me with different sensations and the pelvic floor exercises seem to help with finishing. So some of this is all working well!
I am also a top going through this situation. It is hard for me to ejaculate while penetrating, but I love the act of doing so. I often end up fatigued or thinking Iām taking too long. Thereās a lack of arousal and the inner critic along with it. So Iām hoping the exercises and understanding that this app will provide can find create some solutions! Cheers to us queers enjoying the rears! Lol
Same. I was skeptical about this app but I feel aroused more often now outside of the bedroom and morning wood is consistent now. Iām anxious/scared/nervous to try without meds. I donāt think Iām there yet.
Two weeks ago, I hired a smokin hot escort, I took Viagra got her wet and ready but still couldnāt get a satisfactory hard on to penetrate. Today I went to a spa where I paid extra to have intercourse. She was beautiful and very sexy. I was able to get her super horny in foreplay but I still wasnāt hard enough for penetration. And I was even on Viagra again. Damn frustrating. I need help.
Iām bottom verse and have had the same thing happen to me. Both topping and bottoming. The inner coach exercises help a lot but the sensate focus touch exercises helped equally.
I also stopped watching porn and committed to do this app for 30 days inna row. And today was day 30 and I feel so so much more confident.
So when my top gets soft, itās no big deal. Its normal. Anyone who says otherwise needs to stop watching porn which is highly edited and the furthest thing from reality. I find changing pace completely like watching a show or eating naked helps to reset the anxiety and inner critic and then it flows so much easier. Iām also demi so ive been in this situation many times. Not everyone is understanding. But thatās how you weed out the immature partners.
Watching this threadā¦ I was 100% top in our relationship for more than half of our 30 some years together. Now I love to bottom as much as I love to top but with this psychological ED it has been rough. Fortunately, even though my partner likes to bottom more than top, he is rock hard all the time so I can ride him like a cowboy to my hearts content. He is supportive of me being in this app and working on my issues tough and that is really helpful. Keep up the āhardā work guys, sex is way too fun to have it ruined by our internal critics.
I was in a same situation where my previous partner who preferred to bottom could get and stay hard so easily! I called his dick a light switch. I honestly sometimes feel most guys Iām with are like that. Yet it takes me a lot of mental stimulation to get there.
We will all get there and find that right head space to be.
Great job! Itās not easy stopping watching porn. Did you still masturbarte during those 30 days?
A Bit of My History:
I started having sex at a young age. Never once thought my dick couldnāt get hard. It always seemed to instantly stiffen up when I got the que I was about to have sex. Then one day in a stressful first gay relationship in High School, the guy I was dating wanted to have sex. He was known as the school slut that would snatch up the latest cute guy to come out, and them move on oncee he got in your pants. I thought I was going to be dumped and was so nervous going in. It was the first time I couldnāt get hardā¦ plus since I bottomed without douching there were issues there too and it was a terrible time. We did break up due to me telling people we had sex and he didnāt like that. I then really started to criticize myself about why I didnāt get hard and I was so messy. Years went on that I didnāt have sex. Once I did Iāve had good and bad days. I realized that new encounters and really kinky sessions easily turn me on. Ongoing sex with the same person is where I start to let my inner critique get in the way. I start wondering if thereās things about me they donāt like anymore. If they ātrulyā like what Iām doing, etc. My previous and current partner have said theyāve gotten performance anxiety before, but they both get hard too easily! I sometimes wonder do I easily turn on guys or am I even attracted to men?! lol. I know I am but wow I sometimes wish my mental arousal was well connected to my erections.
I didnāt. I set a goal to not masturbate for 30 days and I did it. I rewarded myself with a jerk off at 31 days and now only use the audio stories to jerk off or no porn at all. And even then I limit the amount of times I jerk off to 1 every couple days. And Iām so ready to make love with my partner. Theyāre sick but Iām in heat waiting for him to get better.
Top as well and the anxiety and stress to perform gets to me real bad. Our community doesnāt actually make it all that easy on us either. Here for the same reason. You are not alone. I realize bottoming has its own stresses and is not easy, but topping isnāt either.
Top as well and yes had anxiety performing
Same for me. I prefer topping but sometimes will stick to bottoming just because Iām too anxious about getting hard enough.