I was angry that I got hard, because the one time I’m not supposed to, I do, and every other time I don’t. I was also mad that despite being hard I felt zero sexual connection with it
It feels numb. Even if you wanted to, your penis would stay soft.
My inner critic doesn’t like my body. That includes my penis. Just being with myself should natural but the inner critic just kept saying I was pathetic.
The soft penis audio didn’t play
Why aren’t you hard? Get hard?
It was like a feeling in my stomach as if someone had tied a knot
Telling me that it was strange to need to do this. That it didn’t matter what I did, I still am going to fail when it comes time for penetrative sex.
I’m okay with my penis being soft just not going soft and thinking about losing it and having to regain it back.
My inner critic was saying: This is not going to work, it is ridiculous. There is no chance of anything changing.
That he should stand when i need him, and he could be more sensitive
As I focused more on the sensation I couldn’t help but get an erection because I was focused on the feeling. When I stopped I could feel myself going soft again. Basically my inner critic saying there he is. But if I just thought about how the sensations felt I started getting hard again. Need to have that mindset during sex.
My inner critic just kept remininding me that my penis couldn’t stay hard
My critic wanted me to be hard from this exercise
Great exercise
Why isn’t it hard, why do my balls hang tight, why does the rest of me look the way it does?
Inner critic reminded me how small and pathetic it
looked when soft.
Once it started to semi half chub stage naturally by touching and really focusing on sensation of touch but then self critique was critical that i could only get half hard and not go all the way. Thought would impact performance anxiety by making feel like me or my penis isnt good enough / cant finish the job (of getting hard)
Was able to silence by just accepting the semi half chub for being great on its own
When it started to get gumby and then started to soften the inner critic was on alert
My inner critic was telling me that I am going to get soft in the future when I try to have sex with my partner again. He will be disappointed and will want to stop talking to me and leave me
Almost 
ng at me for not getting an erection