As a hopeless romantic type… I’ve always incorporated simmering into my spicy moments and life. Never knew what it was called, but my play partners have always commented on it…
Now to just make the transition from FWB doing this to a life long partnership. Loved the returned question “would you rather have amazing sex the rest of your life or just when you simmer?”
Last note is to remember that sex, and especially intimacy, is soo much more than penetrative intercourse. Partnered Simmering all day, all week, all life is a goal of mine now.
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Solo-simmering about my last partner with things that we never have the chance to try. At the end of the day, I still want to do this things with her.
My partner and I text about what we are excited to do to each other. We tell the other to imagine sex and our turn one throughout the day
I’m excited to practice this. I just started with a subtle text. I told her that her new profile pic was stunning. It was received well. I’ll tell her tomorrow what simmering is about.
This is actually something that me and my partner partake in quite a lot. Aunt, I love it. It makes me feel seen and sexy
I think this may help. I have noticed these efforts have waned from me a lot over the last 24 months and is occasional from my partner. Going to try this out
I’m Polyamorous. And recently had an anniversary date (last week) and we both dressed up for each other. And spent two days together. Full of flirtation (went out for drinks and the bartender said we looked like a million bucks). I helped her get dressed for a date with another guy (so hot) because. He cancelled last minute and I got to enjoy her. We touched each others hands and faces at a museum during the day. Just small constant little cards and happy thoughts.
We’ve maintained that flirtation (now I’ll start to call it simmering)
Oh she’s been doing the partners sensate work with me too. I drop by her apartment for 25 mins in the morning and we touch / breath and don’t have sex. Just connect !
We used to do a lot of funny/flirty texting throughout the day during work, It worked then, but we stopped when work got more stressful. I’ll definitely start that back up again to remove some of the stress surrounding my work and do more active simmering with her when we’re not together
I think long kisses as opposed to pecks would be a good start
Passionate kisses and go on dates dressing up well knowing how much it turns each other on. I am working on dirty texting, it’s a bit harder for me
Reminding her how much she means to me, how beautiful and sexy she is, either in person or thorough text. Taking any opportunity to be flirtatious.
I will start by talking to her about simmering. We can than discuss a few ideas on some simmers that we would like.
I’ll talk to my wife about simmering. I like the idea of having more meaningful and romantic or passionate goodbye kisses before the work day starts. Maybe putting a hand gently on her face while we kiss.
My partner and I struggle with this. She has an intrusive thought that if she shows any kind of affection, that it HAS to lead to sex. It’s frustrating to try to increase affection or signaling, but it’s met with resistance. I’ll keep working on it…
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I think my wife and I do this to an extent but it is probably a 1-2 level simmer and not a 5-6 or higher. We could try more!
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With text messages at first, then, when I see her I’ll kiss her and hold her so she knows I want her.
I already do this on a small scale, but I’m looking forward to doing it with more intention and thought.
I already do this all the time, but I’ll continue!
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