Hi all! My girlfriend is visiting at the end of the week and I just wanted to hear some words of encouragement to boost my confidence. I’ve been working the app for just about a month now, and I know my issue lies in focusing too much on the issue and not enjoying the moment. The directed masturbation has really helped me, and I feel much more confident now that I’m not doomed to these erection/delayed ejaculation issues forever, but of course, it’s easier said than done. I fear in the moment tensing up or spectatoring too heavily again and either not finishing or not getting hard as a result. Can I get some tips on how to ensure I stay relaxed/some words of encouragement that I can do this?
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Use the exercises like box breathing, 2:1 breathing, and the ones that focus on the 5 senses to bring you out of panic mode and calm you down. Outside of that find those moments of calm and relaxation and cling to them. Don’t make it a big deal - she’s your girl and she likes you! Enjoy your time with her I’m sure you got this bro!!! I had a recent experience where a girl was coming over. I was nervous all day up and down, but used the exercises. By the time she got here I was still nervous but able to relax and go with the flow. Also I had told her that I was going to take charge and tell her what to do and she was down for that. I had her do what got me going and everything worked! I was even surprised myself 
just stay calm and confident, use the exercises, and do your thing!
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Simmering has been helping me out alot. Use any free time to fantasize about her and get yourself worked up to be with her. I think of it almost like getting myself into animal heat. Definitely during the beginning of my psych ED troubles had the most successes when I worked myself up into a slight frenzy. I also last longer when I’m worked up like that. The erotic stories help me out alot and I picture my wife. Also try your best not to think about the status of your erection leading up to it. (Really hard I know) but focus on how much fun your going to have playing with a naked woman. Try and put yourself back into the mindset of how you were as a teenager and would of killed for what’s about to happen. Good luck man and let us now how it goes! Have lots of fun!
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Thank you so much! I think the breathing exercises will be helpful! I think all of this started when I thought about my delayed ejaculation being a problem, and so I started spectatoring every aspect of the moment. I think just not masturbating at all and waiting for sex, and being present like you said will be really helpful. Thank u so much!
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Thank you for this! Leading up to this week I tried masturbating more slowly and with a condom on to prove to myself that these have nothing to do with it and I’m in my head to much. My ED issues started from DE issues for the first 10 months, as I was thinking that the lube would dry out too quick or that I was taking to long and to hurry up. I was distracting myself too much, but now I’ve proven to myself that going slow works and wearing a condom doesnt change that—its all in my head. I’m definitely going to just stop masturbating until she gets here and just focus on the lust itself. This is really great advice, and I will definitely update on how it goes!
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Yeah man glad it helps! Would also like you said double down on the no masturbating till your with her. Like you said work on the lust and maybe the night before or day of start edging to really whip yourself into a frenzy. Have fun dude! I enjoy the whipping myself into a frenzy. It’s almost like having a day or 2 long foreplay. Enjoy that ride as well. For me it’s all about getting into the mindset of having fun and not letting sex become a chore.
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Dude. If you can’t get it up. Eat her pussy and finger blast her. She’ll love it and then you’ll feel better and then you’ll have more confidence. Accept your situation, find ways around it and then the confidence will come.
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I think my mind has used this as almost an out, where I dont get hard and tell myself well just dont get hard, just make her finish instead—but im still thinking about if im getting hard. Its a weird cycle my brain has created
Trying to do this tonight and im noticing my nerves really taking over. Its so hard not to think about how hard im getting when I need to get hard to do it, lol. Any tips for ensuring I keep my mind off it?
You mentioned fear of lube drying out.
Try WU coconut lube. It’s great and a little goes a long way.
I have started thinking positive thoughts about our next encounters.
How I’d greet her, how I’d kiss her, what she might be wearing under her clothes, the thought of how I would kiss every inch of her, what her skin would feel like, smell like or what she’s going to taste like? What scent will she wear? How many times will she finish before I try to F her?
Will we use the big leather chair in her bedroom? She likes chair-time…. So do I….
Then I fantasize about chair time and it goes on from there.
Updates? How did it go?