( 23 y/o male ) So a little backstory , after heartbreak I was celibate for 3 years due to fears of intimacy and low self esteem. I decided to work on myself.
Fast forward I met a woman and we tried to have sex after 1 month of dating. The first time I was nervous and I couldnāt get my erection and it became a self fulfilling prophecy which would happen for the next 3 months .
I felt lots of pressure and it didnāt help that I only was able to see my woman every 2 weeks which added to the pressure to perform.
It put a lot of strain on our relationship but she was reassuring that she would give me the time I need . As a man I would feel insecure to not be able to satisfy my woman.
So about 2 months later , Iām massaging her and while Iām massaging her my erection kept coming and going . I started preparing myself by putting a condom on . When I for the condom on I tried to enter but I ejaculated instantly . I tried to have sex again that day but I got performance anxiety and I couldnāt get out my head.
2 weeks later , we were in bed together , I had an erection for around 30 mins while we were cuddling . I was so hard I showed her and I just pulled her panties off and went into her in missionary , I entered her I wasnāt in my head and we had sex for maybe 7 or so mins . I know itās not a lot but after not being able to have an erection this is huge .
This app has helped me tremendously but what did it were the Kegel exercises . DO THEM !!
If youāre under 30 you donāt need any prescription . Your body works , exercise, sleep and eat well and you will have no erection issues .
Thank you mojo
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Thatās so great, happy for you man! Could you please explain why do you think the Kegel helps? Did you use it when being with your partner?
Thank you for the support man !
I practiced kegels for maybe 2 weeks ( I am also very fit and exercise 4 times a week ) . I used the Kegel exercises from mojo learning to control and strengthen my pelvic floor muscles . This increased blood flow and helped my erections.
I would practice seated kegels daily throughout the day .
I recommend them to you !!
For me the mental training didnāt do much , the physical training did it .
Make sure to stretch daily as well !
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I didnāt use the kegels during sex . To be honest I was so hard and horny I didnāt think to even try . All that was in my mind was having sex
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Iām pretty sure the Kegals helpedā¦. But your brain did most of the work.
Whatever you did- keep it up!!
Good luck man!
Great story!!!
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Kegels or reverse kegels? I was under the impression kegels are for dealing with PE while reverse kegels improve ED. Iām doing the latter for ED (no PE issues). Should I also be doing regular kegels?
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Way to go man! Itās encouraging to hear your results. Especially now that Iām back on mojo after a break.
I have to say it was surprisingly arousing hearing your story. I could almost remember being in similar situations and understand well what you were feeling. Even though I only been with men, I know how exciting the moment can be and we need to enjoy them. Regardless of how long they last.
Enjoy your many more moments of good erections and strong bonding.
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Jesus man, your story is IDENTICAL to mine, right down to the 3 year celibacy. Only difference is I managed to have sex with my girl but only after a couple of attempts, and since then Iāve gotten worse.
We had also met on a holiday home, got really hot and heavy but no sex, then I left to go back to another country where we stayed in contact the whole time and itās was pretty charged. Fast forward 2 months and Iād actually moved home permanently.
Since then we became and item but thereād been running joke the whole time before we even tried having sex (sheās known for being a slow burn sexually which is great because I like that she takes her time before sleeping with someone) but EVERYONE of her would take the piss out of us for not having had sex yet.
Fast forward another 6 weeks and sure enough, didnāt she initiate it and I think the whole build up actually created pressure. I failed on the night (never happened before and Iām 38, in all other relationships I was extremely sexual and dominant) itās gotten in my head and now itās just a case of we fool about for AAAAGES, get really hot and heavy, go to put it in, actually donāt even get that far, think about putting it in and then it just dies. I also seem to have become obsessed with thinking Iām not āhard enoughā to try when I almost certainly am.
Iām lucky sheās a fucking fantastic girl and very supportive but itās getting tough. And like yourself we donāt see each other much and she lives with her parents so we maybe get 1 opportunity every two weeks and I feel like I just need some exposure in a way, more appourtinty to get comfortable.
Our next step is, less time 9n foreplay and if itās hard, itās just going in. The thought process being, conquer the actual penetration itself and things will Improve.
Sorry for the life story haha I was just caught by the similarities we have lol
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Way to go!
One quick note: You say that you had intercourse lasting ā7 or soā minutes, and then kind of diminish that accomplishment by following it up with āI know itās not a lotā¦ā. I think a lot of men (and women for that matter) have an unrealistic idea (probably influenced by porn I think) about how long intercourse is āsupposedā to last. A study of 500 couples timing themselves with a stopwatch showed that 3-7 minutes is pretty normal, with a median intercourse time of just over 5 minutes.
I think sometimes we can be too hard on ourselves, and expect to have perfect sex with a perfect erection, which can just contribute to a feeling of failure even when weāre succeeding.
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Iām going to try the greedy āas soon as itās hard, itās going in!!ā Method.
However my gfās mom just bike her femur and sheās staying with her during recoveryā¦ 
Thatās very true , I really appreciate the insight . I never knew those statistics . We really do criticise ourselves too much at times.
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Sometimes all it takes is one blog to change life .
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Well said need that little reminder as well
Congratulations man! Thatās so great to hear. Iām so happy for you 
Success stories like this are what keeps me going. I will get there too, I know it!
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Great call!!
Iām below average and also have ped and a deathgripā¦.
.
I find myself thinking - jeez I wish I had a bigger dick or at least one that would stay hard enough to please her (to my standards!) during sex!!
I also hear self criticism during sex when she moans or says something like āyour dick feels amazingā when I know itās not as hard as it could or should beā¦ it kinda feels patronizing. But it could be that it feels greatā¦
I gotta work on it.
Any suggestions for the mental side??
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Good stuff, goooood stuff
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Im going through almost word for word what youve dealt with. Very nice knowing im not alone. Im 24 and this is driving me crazy!
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28 and can relate to everything here. I canāt even get hard when Iām making out with her (which doesnāt happen for everyone, but she expects it) and it makes me anxious. This is an encouraging read.
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New to this community. This story is basically my situation exactly. Long relationship with great sex ended, and Iām currently celibate for the same reasons you were. Very encouraging read! Keep at it brother!
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@innovative-crimson-anteater, this was me 27 years ago when I met the woman who became my wife. Same age, same issues. Only difference is I was a virgin and that led to my anxieties. Took maybe two or three months to beat the curse.
Why am I here now? Well, I had some ED days and it brought all that trauma flooding back, when I thought I would lose my soulmate and never ever be able to have sex. But at 51 I worked out with Mojoās help that my new issue is partly physical, so I am now on low-dose Tadafinil. Mojo is fixing the anxiety, and so far itās working like a charmā¦ I feel 24 again.
Sounds like you have a great woman there, anyway. Good luck to you both!
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