ED during conception attempts

Hello, I am having problems with my erection at a specific time. My wife and I are trying for a second baby for two years now and for various reasons it’s not working out. But at the moment I am the reason as when it comes to peak time of the month for trying I panic, I get negative thoughts in my head like if you don’t get an erection and do your job you are a failure.

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I have a hard time ejaculating during sex.


Hey, I was thinking why not try an alternative outside of sex to get your wife pregnant like fertilization if it works it could alleviate that pressure on you & you can get back to your normal self

My wife and I had a similar experience. We were both wrapped up in our heads. Even if the sex ended up with a successful erection and ejaculation, conception didn’t occur. The pressure and internal dialogue in my own head lead to yet another bout of ED. Ultimately, we both made a concerted effort to stop placing so much pressure on ourselves. We were very open with each other and cleared a lot of anxiety in our discussions on the topic. With this we were able to be present, enjoy each other and the sensations, and not focus so intently on the goal of conception. A few sessions of this led to strong, sustained erections and full body orgasims (for us both) that resulted in a successful pregnancy. Our love child is the living proof. I’d highly recommend this over suggestions for test tube fertilization as it doesn’t address the heart of the issue.

I recently moved in with mu fiancee, for some reason I’ve always had this ED issue with her, didn’t happen with my ex, my fiancee is probably the most attractive and experienced woman I’ve been with, and I think that might have contributed to the first times I had it. We had a complicated relationship when we started and this also contributed. In addition to that I had a porn/masturbation addiction I’ve never confessed and that contributes as well. On top of all this I secretly used cialis to help me and it no longer works. I fail almost half the time and she has lost her libido because of it. I feel a lot of desire for her yet a lot of anxiety and frustration gets in the way when I try to have sex with her. She used to get mad, feel sad or disappointed but now she’s just numb to it. I really wish I could live a healthy sex life like I used to have in my 20s Im 33 now and feel devastated

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Same here especially if I’ve taken little blue pills :tired_face:

Yes, i thought i was one of the unicorns. I find it easier to f*ck than make love. My wife is attractive, im into her but in the last cpl years, i feel like theres a pressure to be rock hard each time. Then i get in my head and im done. Im confident & i just dont know what happened.

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I am going through something similar. We want to have children and the pressure might be one of the reasons


Hello, I’m 21 ans just started my first proper relationship, I lost my virginity to this girl ans the first time I only lasted like 2 minutes, the next time o only lasted like 1, but she wants some tonight, I want to but my body is just saying no, I’ve tried watching porn but still nothing and it’s scares me that i won’t be able to satisfy her

I nut to fast and I’ll have to take a pill(Like A perc) to stay longer with my girlfriend. But it’s only one round and she wants to do it consistently I really need help

I feel your pain. I get so obsessed with the issue now I don’t give myself any chance to get an erection. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

@expensive-moccasin-unicorn Did you try giving up porn entirely for a few months to rewire your brain, and masturbate less/rarely?

I couldn’t cum multiple times while having sex but I could while watching porn and masturbating is this problem have a solution?

I’m 22 and sometimes lose my erection just as I’m about to have sex sometimes if it takes too long to get started eg closing door taking off clothes etc. it’s starting to affect relationship what do I do?

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I had the same issue. My wife wanted sex multiple times a day and I would tell myself there’s no way I could possibly even do it once with how flaccid I’ve become and on top of it now I was telling myself my dick was too small……I’m struggling still with ED but now have a 5 month old. Keep working at this, you can do it. She wants to be the mother to your baby, don’t forget that.

We are trying to have our first and I feel like a failure

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with that, I’m not a doctor or an expert, but I know quite a bit about intrusive thoughts. I would say work on loving yourself, your wife, and your situation. The harder you try to force things, the worse the intrusive thoughts will get and that will compound almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy (beating yourself up before you even start will only make the critical voice go “see? I told you we would fail” and that’s not fair to you or your wife. Maybe do something relaxing when you know that time is getting close and love yourself a little extra. Best of luck!

That has helped, now that we love together there’s not much privacy and I haven’t masturbated in 2 weeks. We’ve had I guess decent sex last two times so that’s good, but I still think of “is it gonna get soft?” “Not soft yet?” And thats what I wanna get rid off


How’s it going ? 20 year old male can get hard but varies and think I just get anxiety it’s not gonna work ruining relationships which is so rough really at a loss. Depression because of it don’t know what to do really just can’t seem to keep hard enough to have sex.

When my erection issues started I knew they were mental and would overcome them like half the time ( this was just a few months ago). The thing that it an issue I could not overcome was when I thought I got someone i didn’t really see a future with pregnant. It’s possible she was manipulating me. Or maybe she was scared as well. I was terrified I would have a child with her. Her period was 3 weeks late. It was 3 weeks of agony. She was out of town so I couldn’t even confirm this was happening. When she got back I had sex with her again even though I promised myself I wouldn’t again. After that she had another 2-3 week late period, and it was some of the worst depression I’ve ever had. I felt like such a fool. This was in August, now it’s October, and these thoughts are getting worse because I don’t have a woman to help. So in my situation, pregnancy issues effected me, but in the totally opposite way. Now I feel like I’ll never have children anyway.