A discussion about religion turned into a straight up shouting match. I think I felt frustrated and they felt self conscious. I think we both needed more respect, humility, and genuine curiosity.
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Sometimes she gets passive aggressive and talks in the third person. I wish people would rinse their wine glass.
they were frustrated i didn’t wanna talk and weaponized my insecurities against me. i could’ve de-escalated and made it better
Uneasy and sometimes I need reassurance
My wife is indifferent to my needs. So I give up.
Happy wife, happy life.
He was made at choices he made in his life and criticized many small things about me.
I would get annoyed when I got interrupted but she believed I was done talking. It caused a major issue with us.
I just need her help around the house. And I feel like I’m doing everything
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My partner felt that I’d made a series of snippy comments asking her not to repeat herself, and that meant she had to second guess what she was saying and she got upset.
In retrospect, I was feeling defensive because I felt that the repetition was an attempt to elicit a stronger reaction from me, like my responses were on trial and I had to prove myself to be enthusiastic enough or happy enough or confident enough. I needed to know that she feels I’m enough as I am.
In retrospect, she probably felt shut down because she felt my comments indicated that I was bored of talking to her and not interested in what she had to say. She needed to know that I love talking to her about whatever is on her mind.
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My fiancée was feeling alone because not only was I not initiating sex I also was not discussing our lack of sex and she felt like it was not a concern to me, it was a concern I just never voiced it so we never spoke about it, communication is key
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My wife had lied to me about someone making a pass on her while she was out doing one of her weekly activities. She lied to me about it because she felt like I am too controlling and would give her a hard time about going out without me anymore. In the end, she just needed to feel like she wasn’t being controlled all the time and I just needed to feel like she will be open and honest with me about situations like that.
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With my current girlfriend I never argue tbh. But with my ex she always tried starting arguments with me to try make me feel jealous. I understand now that it was a way of her being self conscious with herself, and her feeling and need of me being jealous was to make her feel wanted I suppose.
Not experiencing this now but I argued a lot with my ex.
She was very insecure and needy, which meant I was accused of not showing I care a lot despite being in constant contact, continuing to spend quality time, and giving gestures (flowers etc.). Where I made mistakes was telling her what I had done recently to make her feel loved instead of trying to get to the bottom of ‘what have I done right now to make you feel like this?’.
In future, I’m going to aim to approach conflict with this mentality of being curious rather than defensive - easier said than done when women can be very dramatic and emotional but I think it’s about maintaining composure and ‘weathering the storm’
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Arguments with friends, that felt like they weren’t being fully transparent, and it made me feel insecure and not valued. What i needed in that moment was transparency and acknowledgment and honesty
Don’t have a ton of fights, but I probbaly postpone conflicts more than I need to and stew with the uncertainties longer. The good thing is that I usually do get around to addressing it, but the days where it goes unaddressed does surface as stress.
I tried to avoid fights at all cost, and I know that is just as damaging as fighting all the time
I very much try to avoid conflict so learning how to handle it will be a big change
I am the worst at conflict. It seldom explodes, but when it does, I spit venom. If it doesn’t overflow into overt conflict it generally leads to an all out obliteration of the relationship by my sabotage. Never speaking to them again, full bridge burning, closure of the relationship. This seems scary but waaaay healthier
When my partner voices frustration or unhappiness, my first reaction is to explain or defend myself. Instead. I need to listen and try to get to the root of the frustration
She was frustrated with the situation and blamed herself, and she wanted acceptance from me. She felt that I didn’t appreciate her. I didn’t realize it, I just thought she was being a bitch.