I’ve had erectile dysfunction ever since I was 17 years old. I put this largely down to being introduced to pornography at a young age and experiencing severe mental health issues like depression and anxiety while growing up.
I was prescribed viagra by the GP to help with this. I had great success with it, and so ended up using viagra for sex on every single occasion.
Fast forward 13 years later, and I am still using viagra and the erection situation has not improved at all. I would rarely wake up with an erection. When I was intimate with someone without viagra, i would only get about 40% hard and then ejaculate incredibly quickly before any sort of penetration or direct penis stimulation.
I feel as though I’m at a dead end at the moment. The few times I would wake up with a hard erection are now gone, and instead i barely wake up with a semi. I have been to the doctors, multiple times, and never even physically examined. I have finally been referred to psychosexual counselling, but this was in April and no update has been had since then.
I just don’t know what to do. I’m working through the Mojo programme, but again, I don’t really feel as though things are improving. I reach out for medical help, and don’t get it. I’m at my wit’s end here, and don’t know what to do.
The worst part is that I’ve never felt as though I can sexually express myself because of this, constantly holding this trauma close without any way of getting rid of it or dealing with it.
I’m posting this just to vent, thank you for reading