Wife Patient for Two Years, Getting Fed Up

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Family and relationships
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Started losing my erections during sex, then started avoiding sex with my wife entirely. Going on three years of therapy with a relationship therapist, but no real progress - other than identifying my problem is that I’m avoiding it for fear of failure.

The issue I’m realizing, is I’m also avoiding trying to solve the issue because I’m afraid at failing at solving the problem.

I masturbate and all is fine, but anything sex related with my wife and I have zero interest nor can I stay hard when we occasionally do have sex.

My wife has said she’s done being patient and starting to resent me for it.

Not sure what to do, just typing this out because I haven’t really told anyone other than my therapist of the issues.

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I don’t have any advice but I hear your frustration with yourself. Its brave of you to share that with a public audience. You are probably a great man.

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You can’t fail at solving the problem if you don’t give up

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I feel very fortunate that my wife is so supportive.

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I emphasise your frustrations and congratulate you for your perseverance with therapy. It is very difficult to get out of your head and to stop overthinking. My experience with the meditations on Mojo has helped me. Good luck with your journey towards overcoming your problem.

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Does your wife like having sex without relying on you being hard or are you avoiding sex? There are many ways to pleasure a woman without being hard. If you put the pressure on that you must get an erection, you will likely fail, at least that’s the case for me.

My advice to try to be intimate with your wife as much as possible without having any expectations, even without expecting orgasms from either side. Just try to relax and have a good time. If you can manage to be chill you should get your erections back.

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Completely get it and just had another failed attempt after finally getting some alone time with the wife. I’m on TRT and took a BlueChew, got excited then when it was time to penetrate I completely went soft. She’s told me for years when this happens that she is ok but then constantly brings up how unattractive I make her feel, tells me to not even try anymore, or questions my faithfulness.

Meanwhile, at almost 40 I had a wet dream the other night. Who does that but can’t have sex?

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