I can get an erection and be rock hard when I’m on my own. I take time and explore my body and stroke my cock until it is hard but as soon as I’m with my partner it’s just not hard enough for penetration and then I feel I’m just pulling at a soft piece of skin frantically trying to get hard.
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Try taking intercourse off the table. Be naked together and focus on her body instead of yours. What is your favorite part of her body? Focus all of your attention on that instead of on your dick.
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