Where do I start lol

šŸ‘ļø Body image
1

So a bit about me first, Iā€™m a person in recovery for substance misuse, a put my body through a lot and the old boyo isnā€™t what he was, nor was my sex drive in early recovery, at the time I thought my partner was understanding.

But her understanding turned out to be sleeping with multiple partners whilst I tried to fix myself.

All one to three time meets with numerous people, and itā€™s all came to light in the last three weeks.

Pictures videos the whole lot, one of my biggest hurdles in the mix is my self image, all these guys where all shredded and endowed like donkeys, the opposite of my old ass.

I donā€™t know how I will ever match up to that, my confidence is in the dirt and I canā€™t seem to figure out where Iā€™m at with it all.

We are trying to work through it but itā€™s a heavy burden to carry, and especially when I had such a hard time with the psychical aspect already, I just donā€™t know what to do, Iā€™m so lost.

How can I ever match up or be enough.

I donā€™t know why Iā€™m writing this here, Iā€™m not sure itā€™s the place for it, but Iā€™m so ashamed to talk to any of my support about this aspect of it, Iā€™m receiving help for the infidelity and some of the other bits, but I canā€™t admit this to anyone Iā€™m close to.

I apologise for the length of this post, I donā€™t expect an answer but it felt good to put it into words.

4 Likes
2

Donā€™t apologise manā€¦ get it outā€¦ get it on paperā€¦ talk about it to people like usā€¦ itā€™s all anonymousā€¦ thereā€™s often no easy answersā€¦ but talking and sharing often reveals options you may consider in the futureā€¦.
Keep fightingā€¦

1 Like
3

Thank you for that.

Iā€™m not sure how to process it currently.

4

You solved the problem at the end of your post. We have to stop apologizing for how we feel. Every one of us is worthy of receiving intimacy, and I think we are all hear to find the key that unlocks that door. When Iā€™m with my partner, I feel like all the pressure is on me to perform. I find myself stopping her from trying to give me pleasure. That could only feel like rejection to her in hindsight, raising the anxiety level for both of us and sending the encounter into a downward spiral.

1 Like
5

Hey Mate,
Donā€™t apologize. Itā€™s good to let our feelings out and not bottle them up inside. I have learned this recently and I wish I had done it sooner.
Share you feelings and thoughts on here itā€™s a great platform and everyone is very supportive. We are all here for one thing or another or a few.

I wish you well trying to work things out with your partner. Hopefully they are as focused on it as you are.
In regards to your feelings on your own body re the other guys try not to compare yourself. We are all different and unique and we all deserve to feel good about ourselves and feeling loved. I used to always feel inadequate about being a scrawny skinny guy and itā€™s only in the past year or so I started to like myself. Itā€™s also not the size or the prize that counts itā€™s how you use it. (Sounds cliche but itā€™s not) dicks in different shapes and sizes can still give great pleasure.
We all have our hang ups, even those ripped chiseled guys with donkey dicks, they could be very insecure about themselves.

One thing thatā€™s helped me since doing Mojo is the soft penis pleasure exercises and sensate exercises in front of the mirror when you get to that. I helps link the nice pleasures you feel back to what you see in front of you.

Be kind to yourself, donā€™t put your self down your are not less than them. We are all humans. Celebrate the positives about yourself. Like your journey in recovery that itself is an amazing accomplishment. You got this mate. Small acts of kindness to yourself everyday accumulate and in time the majority becomes positive.

We have you back mate.

1 Like
6

I really appreciate the messages here.

I was really low the other day when I wrote this and Iā€™d like to say I feel slightly better as Iā€™m distracted on other fronts so this one isnā€™t as massive as it was at the time.