Where do I start lol

So a bit about me first, I’m a person in recovery for substance misuse, a put my body through a lot and the old boyo isn’t what he was, nor was my sex drive in early recovery, at the time I thought my partner was understanding.

But her understanding turned out to be sleeping with multiple partners whilst I tried to fix myself.

All one to three time meets with numerous people, and it’s all came to light in the last three weeks.

Pictures videos the whole lot, one of my biggest hurdles in the mix is my self image, all these guys where all shredded and endowed like donkeys, the opposite of my old ass.

I don’t know how I will ever match up to that, my confidence is in the dirt and I can’t seem to figure out where I’m at with it all.

We are trying to work through it but it’s a heavy burden to carry, and especially when I had such a hard time with the psychical aspect already, I just don’t know what to do, I’m so lost.

How can I ever match up or be enough.

I don’t know why I’m writing this here, I’m not sure it’s the place for it, but I’m so ashamed to talk to any of my support about this aspect of it, I’m receiving help for the infidelity and some of the other bits, but I can’t admit this to anyone I’m close to.

I apologise for the length of this post, I don’t expect an answer but it felt good to put it into words.


Don’t apologise man… get it out… get it on paper… talk about it to people like us… it’s all anonymous… there’s often no easy answers… but talking and sharing often reveals options you may consider in the future….
Keep fighting…

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Thank you for that.

I’m not sure how to process it currently.

You solved the problem at the end of your post. We have to stop apologizing for how we feel. Every one of us is worthy of receiving intimacy, and I think we are all hear to find the key that unlocks that door. When I’m with my partner, I feel like all the pressure is on me to perform. I find myself stopping her from trying to give me pleasure. That could only feel like rejection to her in hindsight, raising the anxiety level for both of us and sending the encounter into a downward spiral.

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Hey Mate,
Don’t apologize. It’s good to let our feelings out and not bottle them up inside. I have learned this recently and I wish I had done it sooner.
Share you feelings and thoughts on here it’s a great platform and everyone is very supportive. We are all here for one thing or another or a few.

I wish you well trying to work things out with your partner. Hopefully they are as focused on it as you are.
In regards to your feelings on your own body re the other guys try not to compare yourself. We are all different and unique and we all deserve to feel good about ourselves and feeling loved. I used to always feel inadequate about being a scrawny skinny guy and it’s only in the past year or so I started to like myself. It’s also not the size or the prize that counts it’s how you use it. (Sounds cliche but it’s not) dicks in different shapes and sizes can still give great pleasure.
We all have our hang ups, even those ripped chiseled guys with donkey dicks, they could be very insecure about themselves.

One thing that’s helped me since doing Mojo is the soft penis pleasure exercises and sensate exercises in front of the mirror when you get to that. I helps link the nice pleasures you feel back to what you see in front of you.

Be kind to yourself, don’t put your self down your are not less than them. We are all humans. Celebrate the positives about yourself. Like your journey in recovery that itself is an amazing accomplishment. You got this mate. Small acts of kindness to yourself everyday accumulate and in time the majority becomes positive.

We have you back mate.

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I really appreciate the messages here.

I was really low the other day when I wrote this and I’d like to say I feel slightly better as I’m distracted on other fronts so this one isn’t as massive as it was at the time.