I feel like im average sized in length but below average in girth. I know theres really nothing I can do to change that and Iāve been working to perform better in bed but I still donāt feel I can satisfy my partner. Iāve tried different techniques and positions and itās been improving, just not til completion and when I ask her about it her response is to ājust keep goingā which im really struggling with. I keep comparing myself to my friends sex stories and it makes me feel inferior to them and I just keep spiralling about it. Idk what to do man. I hate feeling lesser and idk how to bring it up to my partner without making her feel bad for me and in the worst case, making her feel any of it is her fault.
1 Like
Hi, I donāt know if I have any real advice to offer, but I can say that youāre definitely not alone. I have a very average size as well, and ever since I became sexually active a few years ago, Iāve faced extreme ED issues with every new sexual partner due to being worried that they might judge my size. Iām a very competitive person and I often base my self-worth on being better than others and better than average. This has always made me insecure as no matter what, I will always have just an average dick. Iāve found other ways to successfully satisfy my sexual partners, but it always hurts when I discuss pasts with my partner and they reveal that some of their past sexual partners have had bigger members. Iāll always feel inferior and like I can never be the best theyāve had. Sorry, I know this isnāt helpful, but I just wanted to share that youāre not alone, and youāre not the only person dealing with this insecurity.
1 Like
I know youāve heard it before and itās just words- but thereās a high percentage of women that canāt cum from
Penetration aloneā¦ Iāve read it many, many places.
My gf has never cum from
Penetration with previous guysā¦ tho sheās got a fairly low body count.
This is very common and something that is best cured by a combination of math, and understanding how women think about this versus men.
Think of 20 adult men you know reasonably well, friends and family.
Now order them in height from 1, tallest, to 20, shortest.
Ok, you might have a buddy who is 6ā 4" youāve identified as probably tallest. And a colleague whoās about 5ā 5" youāve chosen as shortest. Who is number 12? 8? 15? Likely you either canāt do it, or if you have, youāll actually be wrong. Because many of these dude will be somewhere between 5ā 8 and 5ā 10 and be basically indistinguishable in your mind in terms of height, even though you know them well.
Many human dimensions, including D size, work like this, theyāre distributed on a bell curve. There are some outliers, but most people cluster around the average.
Unless your girlfriend is Gianna Michaels or something, if sheās slept with 10 dudes, or 20, sheās slept with a lot of dudes who are between half and inch below and half an inch above average. And she probably wonāt be able to distinguish who was bigger out of the 5.9in guy from a year ago and the 5.7in guy from 3 years ago. What sheāll remember is their personality, who was funny, who was a jerk, who was selfish or generous in bed, whatever.
Two reddit posts I saw that give an insight: one was a guy asking his gf how he measured up to her 6 former partners. She literally didnāt know and thought they were all more or less the same (theyāll likely have all been in that populated āgenerally averageā bit of the bell curve).
Another was a guy on TRT who thought heād grown by an inch over the last couple of years, and he and his gf has just started to notice. As in, both he and she werenāt noticing fractions of an inch difference in the meantime, which is likely all that seperates you from the guys you think your gf is able to compare you to.
I totally get the anxiety, but itās one to reason away with a bit of logic. Hope you feel better soon!
3 Likes