I never had ED issues until I started a new relationship. His penis is considerably larger than mine and it causes me a lot of anxiety and insecurity. I think this is a source of my ED issues. Anyone else ever deal with this?
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Oh yeah. Size insecurity is a huge thing. My early experiences were with guys with much bigger cocks. Like 6th grade truth or dare and my friend was rocking 8.5 inches. And itās everywhere ā sitcoms, stand-up comedians, online, exes and past partners who shame you. Even though Iāve been with people smaller than me, people who couldnāt take me anally, people that like my dick, you always feel like itās not enough. Personally, I donāt like big dicks and find smaller ones easier to work with all around. I also try to make sure people donāt feel bad about size cumming fast, their body, etc. But not everyone is so kind. And itās those unkind experiences, even if they are less than the kind or positive ones, that have the greatest impact on us. At least you have someone who is interested and in a relationship with you. Trust that they like you as a whole. Youāre more than just a dick, and you probably satisfy him in many ways, not just sexually. And having that connection will make the sex better. Believe in yourself and try not to worry about the size difference. Youāre more than your cock, and he likes you for you.
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It all comes down to looking for any reason to compareā¦ Fitter, bigger dick etc etc.
I guess different people are into different things. Tbh I worry about me if Iām dmaller, but if itās the other way round the thought never enters my head.
Some of the best sex Iāve had is with people smaller, size doesnāt make it better but it gets stereotyped by everyone about being important.
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Definitely understand the size issue. Iām 6ā5 with 5.5 inch. Guys always assume I must be big and then I tell them Iām not hung and then I canāt get hard so it becomes a cycle of shame.
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Average dick on a 6ā4" frame is what i struggle with as well. I underatand that it works but it seems misproportioned and that people expect more.
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I would ask your partner what he likes about your penis. Chances are heās not going to mention size, and that could give you a confidence boost. I look at things like the shape and smoothness of the head, the proportion between the head and the shaft, the curvature, etc. And honestly i prefer penises that are average or slightly smaller than average. Both oral and anal can be a pain (literally) with a dick thatās too big.
Iām gonna sound really arrogant now and I apologise but hopefully itāll help us all to be honest ā¦Iām considered really handsome (Italian and welsh genes), Iām physically in very good shape, hairy chest and generally considered a DILF apparently. However, my penis is 5 inches erect and despite the fact I am lucky enough to have loads of (really hot) men wanting sex with me on repeat, my penis size anxiety is getting worse and is affecting my erections. I have been told by maybe 3 or 4 men that Iām too small and I am certain men have also blocked/ghosted in social media when they see my pics. Most men however, donāt seem to care and want to meet me regularly. They tell me they like my penis/ they donāt care about size/ that Iām fit but in my mind Iām convinced theyāre just decent men who are kind but secretly disappointed. Iām really trying to understand how I can accept that Iām on the left of the size bell curve and yet at the same time can be considered really attractive to a huge number of men. Size anxiety is such an important thing we donāt ever talk about so Iām on a mission with guys, both being honest about my own anxiety or their own. Itās such bs fuelled by porn, but apps like Grindr perpetuate as they wonāt allow you to add hashtag āsmallā or āunhungā (yet count the times we see āhungā!). Most of the websites offering support on penis size anxiety (eg NHS) are heteronormative in tone (āreassuringā about seeing flaccid penises in the changing room - ignoring how gay men can get up close and intimate with a massive penis!). Iāve had sex with guys who are much smaller than me and I have loved it - great sexual chemistry and really good physical fun with a smaller guy, so for me it really, really doesnāt matter if heās smaller - yet I cannot switch that thinking. Hopefully this app will continue to help me.
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Im kinda in the shame boat - I imagine men are really disappointed that I donāt have a massive penis. But it is just my imagination and most guys seem genuinely keen to see me again (I have a great number of partners) but I cannot shake off the anxiety and that is really affecting my erections.
All the time mate, and itās a constant battle. Iām really grateful you posted this. I donāt know what the answer is but I guess one way to address it is to have a very frank, open discussion. I have many partners and I have started to talk more openly about my anxiety with them (and Iām surprised by how many big guys are also anxious - too big to fit/causing pain/have to perform/objectified for their penis/keeping it hard/have to perform as a top etc etc).
Iām exactly the same! Iām 6ā8" and have a totally average length penis. I get frustrated because as tall people, we kind of get fetishisedāāhe must be so hung being that tallā. This is the core root of my challenges keeping it up, Iām sure, and I get in my head about it that Iām a let down because Iām not packing what youād consider a big penis.
Gay body culture though is a big issue and has a lot to answer for. The fantasy of the hung penis comes up everywhere as a cliche throw-away comment but I think itās doing a lot of damage in the community. I, personally, couldnāt care about someoneās size and wish we could move past the conversation of glorifying the hung.
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I think that most gay guys have an unrealistic expectation of penis size but we are most critical on ourselves. I used to worry about my girth not so much length and it became a bit of an obsession. I have realised since that looking back Iāve never had any complaints with previous sexual partners and when I was able to get hard they were satisfied.
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Totally agree, and same goes here - Iāve never had any evidence to suggest that partners arenāt satisfied or care that it isnāt large. We are the hardest on ourselves, totally. Iām very happy to say that Iām already experiencing a confidence boost doing this program. Itās nice that thereās a whole section of these forums for LGBTQIA+ because I think our challenges can be different.
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Iāve been insecure about my size for as long as I can remember. To add on to the insecurity, for years I watched big dick porn, and compared myself. Iām now understanding that really takes away from the pleasure I can give myself.
Fetishizing someone elseās dick size has given my inner critic fuel for way too long. The first thing my inner critic says when I touch my penis is that itās not big enough.
Iāve never had any complaints from sexual partners either, but I rarely get a compliment that people really like my cock. That would be a confidence boost for sure. Maybe we need to be more complimentary of each otherās penises, especially when itās not erect.
I tend to feel pretty disconnect from my dick. after years of feeling shame.
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Look, guys like you because of who you are. Sex is not all about dick size for many guys. The ones who need a bigger dick they will look for that type of guy. You canāt simply be everything for everybody.
I am a DILF with a 8ā long an thick cock, and to be honest I hate when guys get excited after I show my dick pictures. It feels like they are more into the cock than me. To be honest it turns me off and I loose my erection when guys stare at my cock.
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Thanks man, that actually helps.
Yes Iāve heard that said by guys who are big. I try not to fetishise someone who is hung for that reason. I always feel inadequate compared, like heād be kind or faking it. I donāt feel that about smaller men - but just assume thatās what bigger guys think of me. I worry because Iām (apparently) good looking and muscular build men assume Iāll be hung and theyāre disappointed when they see Iām average, The whole thing is daft really.
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This topic really interests me. Just since I started at Mojo Iāve sort of stopped to wonder about this. I too am a tall guy with a totally average sized dick, maybe even a little on the thick side. Except for a short period of time while in college when I was having regular sex with a guy who all the men and women were after based on his looks, I have never had any issues with ED until I moved to South Florida where I became not average hung but small hung. I had a ton of sex there, almost always as a bottom because I really struggled with getting hard pretty much as soon as I moved there. In all seriousness, the average size of the guys living there was in the 7-7.5" range and many were truly huge. I think in the years I lived there I only saw 3-4 guys in my size range and I was having a lot of random sex.
I hope this conversation continues. I want to hear more of what other guys are feeling.
Now Iāve moved back to my home state and realisitic sized dicks but I still feel that maybe this size thing is following me, even among the guys I have sex with, Iām totally average. The ED thing keeps me in the passive role and I really want to break out of that.
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Fwiw, Iām very into my unhung heroes. I think a small cock is hot as hell. What you assume might me a turn off to your partners may actually be a huge turn on
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Itās really interesting because being into small dicks and unhung guys is almost taboo. For example, you can tag āhungā (or ādirtyā, āwsā, ālimitsā etc) on Grindr but thereās no tag for āsmallā or āunhungā. Iāve written to them to suggest it but no one has got back to me. Iām an average guy but yes a fit guy with a small dick is really attractive.