I have a very average size, and ever since I became sexually active a few years ago, I’ve faced extreme ED issues with every new sexual partner, due to being worried that they might judge my size. I’m a very competitive person, and I often base my self-worth on being better than others and better than average. This has always made me insecure, as no matter what, I will always have just an average dick. I’ve found other ways to successfully satisfy my sexual partners, but it always hurts when I discuss pasts with my partner and they reveal that some of their past sexual partners have had bigger members. I’ll always feel inferior and like I can never be the best they’ve had. With my current partner, I can give her clitoral orgasms, but I’ve failed to make her finish from penetration. I’ve discussed her past with her and she said that she’s been able to finish from penetration with past partners. It’s a horrible and consuming feeling to feel like the sex she experiences with me will never be as pleasurable as it was with past partners. How do I get over this insecurity?
I’m below average. Likely way below average. I too have gotten good at oral, fingering and I’ve actually bought a toy that gf and I have used for her pleasure and mine… I assume im the smallest she’s seen. I don’t ask about her past. I imagine she’s had much bigger than me. Her last bf was 6’6” (I’m 5’7”- she’s 5’3”…) The thing I hang onto is I’m the only one who’s made her cum multiple times in a session. There’s been times where I’ve lost count of how many times she’s ’tipped over the edge’. She says I’m 10x more passionate about her pleasure than any of her past. That’s definitely a point of pride for me. Hopefully if I can get my dick to be as passionate as the rest of me we’d really be getting busy…
I’ve always felt the same way about my cock size and had lots of insecurities. In other words, I’ve been in my head about size and when the ED started my over thinking became worse.
The fact checking process on here has helped heaps. I have been with other partners and now my wife and no one has ever commented or been disappointed with my performance, not even when I’ve not gotten fully hard. I often got asked again for sex with the same partners even though they were just one night stands. Fact: I’ve given my partners enjoyable experiences with penetration, oral, hands etc and they want more and mostly I’ve had a good time. I’m only human and sometimes things haven’t gone as well for me because I didn’t get fully hard but most of the time it’s been good and some awesome. I can’t do anything about my cock size but I can please my lovers. Maybe I’m lucky but my wife says I have a beautiful cock and loves the way it feels inside her (and she’s had bigger ones too).
Key point: talk to your partner about your insecurites and get out of your head. Keeping it inside you is like holding onto shame and not valuing yourself as a whole person. You aren’t just a small cock, you’re an amazing man who is an amazing lover and you have a partner who’s sticking by you. The insecurities will dissolve once you air them with your partner and remember to fact check and stay out of your head through the breathing and other excerices.
Check out my comment on the other similar post to this (awake-coral-wildcat).
TLDR, most guys are somewhere between 0.5 below and 0.5 above average. And actually, your gf probably couldn’t line up her former partners accurately in terms of D size, in the same way you wouldn’t accurately be able to line your friends up in terms of height (yes you might know tallest and shortest, but who is 13th tallest in a group of 20 of your friends? Most will be between 5’8 and 5’10 even if one of them is 6’4 and one is 5’4. And you don’t think of your 5’10 friends as short just because you know there are 6’4 outliers).
Liable-Fuscha: very well said man!!
Yeah dude I think about it like this. Say you’re a big boobs guy….thats just your thing. Does this mean you can’t have an amazing experience with a woman who has a smaller chest? Absolutely not. Flip the script……you have a choice of sexual partners tonight…… partner A, small tits, but is very enthusiastic in bed and does all the things to you that make you feel good and will make you cum. I’m talking porn star vibes. Partner B, big tits, awesome! But her sexual performance is shit because she’s not confident, she’s in her head, she takes the “whatever, I’m not really into it” approach. Which one are you going to choose?
My point is you might not have the biggest cock she’s been with, but you’ll be god dammed if you will let them outperform you in the bedroom. She’s getting a dick tonight, which is what she wants, so will she have dick that’s not confident, not enthusiastic, not 100% into it, and just kinda blah? Or is she going to get a dick that’s fucking awesome because you are so god damn excited to be there and give her the best pleasure she will have because of the ENTIRE sexual experience and vibe you bring her.
I have heard woman say this countless times…….in the end they are not really attracted to the penis, they are attracted to what the penis is attached too. It’s not your dick she’s going to remember, it’s the sexual experience as a whole.
Also bro keep in mind our dicks are sponges with varying degrees of fullness. It’s amazing how much bigger you can be and feel when that thing is rock hard and as full as it can get. The only way this happens is if you really into the moment, so that’s another reason to get out of your head and into the moment. Another tactic to try is to FEEL like you have a huge cock. Long, deep strokes and imagining you are a big dude. Put her in a position where you can grab ahold of her and really pretend you are “impaling” her.
Lastly, maybe you should start exploring PE. I’ll let you decide what you think could work (stretching, hanging, pumping etc) but if you were on here talking about your poor body image and how her past guys have all looked like freaking GI Joes, the solution would be easy. Start working out and eating for that killer body. It is my belief we CAN grow the size of our dicks. Sure, your not going to get inches bigger, but if you put in the work and actually give it a go you can add some size
I’m the exact same man, I’ve only been sexually active for 6 months and I’ve had this from the start because I was aware my girl had bigger in past. It’s so good to see this comment and I hope it’s a relief for you seeing mine, I’m 5’9 and her ex was 6’3 . Honestly man I don’t have any advice because I deal with the same thing, I get it’s hard to do because no matter how much I pleasure her outwith penetration I’ll always sit and think about how good his must’ve felt compared to mine. It’s a mission man but just keep reminding yourself that she LOVES YOU. Not him. It means so much to you because it doesn’t work. Imagine it worked all the time, would your focus of the relationship be on the sex and your penis? Probably not. I know it’s hard and I myself think about it everyday at work at least a few times
I’m proud of you for coming on the app man and I want you to know your not the only one dealing with this kind of thing, keep your head up bro
I find avoiding those conversations is best. My partners sexual past is none of my concern and will do nothing but wreck my self esteem. I explain to my partners that unless she wants to tell me something that will increase my confidence, I don’t want to know.
Im sure you have had girls that were hotter, tighter or more fit in some way. But would you tell your girl that? It would serve zero purpose. If your girl openly admits that stuff to you without you asking then I’d have a chat with her about keeping it to herself. It serves no purpose.
All of that being said, an orgasm is an orgasm. If you get her off then don’t worry. Most women I talk to don’t even have orgasms with their partners. So believe me, she is lucky to have you. Prioritize her and make her feel good. She won’t be going anywhere.
I often worry that my partner is maybe fantasizing about things, bigger dicks etc etc, but when I ask her if she ever does she laughs and says her mind is always in the moment. She loves sex with me and I love ot with her. Not because she is the tightest or best looking or any of that (although she really is all of that for me). But I enjoy sex with her because it’s special and unique. I love her and that makes it amazing.
Gotta quit worrying about it brother. You’re enough for her.
Very wise words here, man!
I think my dick size is either average or slightly above, and I don’t pay it any mind. There’s always going to be someone bigger than you no matter how big it is. But size isnt everything, and that’s not just a catch phrase - its true.
Most girls cannot fit a 10 inch dick. Most would be intimidated by that. The depth of their vagina is actually about 3.5 inches and you dont even need to go that deep to pleasure them. I bought a 10 inch strap on to use on my girlfriend when my boner wouldnt show up and she couldnt use it. The dildos she uses are smaller than that, and the depth she takes them into herself is less than half way.
There are some girls obsessed with the biggest cocks they can get, but theyre not the norm, and usually those women are a bit fucked up. Theyve trained themselves to take in super human sizes and they often have a very catty and dismissive attitude to any man whose body is a real reflection of health and normality. Why would you want to deal with that?
Unless you have a medically diagnosed micropenis the size of your cock IS NOT the problem. A girl who likes you will find something to like about your dick.
Just remember the G Spot is only 2ins in so
a average guy can hit it maybe try a different position
Well said brother!!!
I know I’m likely the smallest she’s ever had because I’m below average. She’s also told me outright that I’m the most passionate and most attentive to her pleasure she’s ever had. Period. I’m taking that as a huge W!!