I’m 35 my gf is 23, we have been dating for just over 4 months. Towards the start of the relationship we were looking at some photos on her phone and came across a video. The video was of her getting fucked in the arse by her ex. Now the video was years old and she reassured me that she had taken the time to delete any pictures and videos that she had of them but missed this one. There were no other videos or pictures there so I had no other reason to believe her. The problem arises because his cock was massive, like huge and I would consider myself average at best. You could see it clear as day in the video. Now when we have sex that’s all I can think about, when I’m not with her all I do is compare myself. She has reassured me countless times that I satisfy her, telling me I make her cum and orgasm more than anybody else has and that my domineering persona during sex makes her feel more submissive than she’s ever felt and the connection we have makes it the best sex she’s ever had. But regardless of what she says or what I do I can not get over the feeling that it must have been more pleasurable for her getting fucked by a bigger dick and would have made her feel more submissive. This has led to several occasions during sex where I have lost my erection due to the thoughts I have during sex. I am confident in my sex skills but can’t stop comparing the size of my dick. I’m sure this insecurity comes from watching too much porn when I was younger, but I haven’t watched any since last year, as I haven’t felt the need. I’ve spoken to her about it and been open about my thoughts and insecurities but I’m becoming cautious about bringing it up because I don’t want to come across as insecure but it is affecting my mental health quite badly. I often find myself thinking about it, and become quite anxious to the point where I can’t focus in work and feel sick. It’s the first time I’ve suffered an issue like this and I just don’t know what to do to get over it.
One thing is certain - he was going to be bigger than you, or smaller than you.
If she isn’t disappointed, I should try not to worry about it. It is unfortunate you stumbled across the video - but she is dating you, not him.
This happened to me. My wife and I met in college. I knew her ex - he was a friend of mine and in my frat. After they broke up, we got together. He was apparently much bigger than me (almost twice my size). I’m also Latino (and wife is too) and he’s a white dude. Which I found out she has a fetish for (from her porn history). This fucked me up for awhile. One day, I snooped through her phone (I know, wrong… but I was insecure) and found a bunch of videos of him fucking her or her sucking his dick. When I tell you this dude had a big hairy white dick. I can’t compare. It broke me for a while. I couldn’t fuck her at all. But one day, I snuck on her phone again and watched the videos and let go of my ego and insecurity and jerked off to them. This was a key change. I let go of my insecurity and I had no trouble fucking her again. I would jerk off to her vids getting fucked by his BWC daily. Accepting his dick was bigger and she liked that he was white - that acceptance helped me get back into the bedroom with her. Maybe try jerking off to the video? Idk if that’s healthy advice but it worked for me.
I guess I’m a fairly calm and confident character. I don’t see her having sex with another guy as being a threat to my own masculinity.
I’m a fairly average size - so I guess there is as much chance he is a bit bigger than me, than the same or smaller, but I’m absolutely not worried about that.
We are fortunate