I was doing self Sensate and couldnāt even get through 5 minutes. It felt Very Awkward! My wife is so done with our lack of intimacy (4 years!). I knew I had an issue that I thought medication could fix. I was mistaken! My first marriage failed due to this problem and my second is definitely headed in the same direction if not already there for my wife. I found this app/website and thought Hallelujah! But I think it may be too late. I was so happy to figure out what I believe my problem to beā¦ Psychological EDā¦ and the fact that this place could potentially be My Fix!
Jumping back to the problem I initially mentioned, the Self Sensate. I canāt do the Self Sensate because it feels way too awkward. If I could do it with my wife (sensate focus) I feel that might work but sheās in another state, possibly for another couple months, and tired and upset with the no intimacy I donāt know how to bring her into it. If thereās any words of wisdom, Iād REALLY APPRECIATE THAT!
You just gotta push through bro. With time youāll get more comfortable with yourself. Remember the end goal but also understand it takes time
Yeah that discomfort is what you need to breathe through and try and begin to tolerate. Eventually it will have less of a hold. Any thoughts on what you feel during - embarrassment, anger, fear, shame, too nice,ā¦ good or ābadā name it some how and note that and move on .
Like others have said its weird as hell at first but pish on through. Focus on your sensation and get back into your body. It gets easier. I was amazed at how switched off to my own body I was, also to how little my wife touches me when weāre intimate. Ove started asking for more of this to get me aroused. How will she know of you donāt know what you like?
I find that after strenuous physical activity (going to the gym, a walk/jog, mowing the lawn, etc.), my body and mind are in a much better place, open and responsive to physical touch. Physicality creates mental stimulation which in turn creates physical stimulation that are the beginnings of getting my mind and body in sync. This is both true in my experience of partner sensate and solo sensate.
Thank all of you for your input. It didnāt feel comfortable, maybe embarrassed, even though I was alone. I will push through like was said and think of the end product! I have to get through this for my wife and my marriage!