What's one thought you can reprogram today? (early climax-dedicated thread)

[existing-moccasin-orca]

I feel very frustrated and like a failure because I cant last long in bed.

[bewildered-aqua-raven]

Bros… I crushed p***sy when I was single because I didn’t care about these women. I lasted longer. Now I’m back with a woman I have always loved and cumming fast… I get it. I’m putting pressure on myself because she matters to me. We’ll get through this though

[smoggy-red-vulture]

I put the pressure in my self and assume the worst. I know I can last better and shouldn’t be overthinking it

[sharp-copper-halibut]

I know it’s all in my head & I’m having trouble shaking it

[flying-indigo-shrimp]

I worked with CBT before and it workes really well. So I will give it a shot and first session actually felt good and the work I did made sense to me and felt honest. So I will Continue doing so and see where I am at in a month or two. Wish all of you guys best of luck and great results!

[advanced-teal-ferret]

I feel like I’m a let down

[vicious-amber-lungfish]

I do find my mind drifting towards negative thoughts during sex like don’t finish quickly and stressing about what the person I’m having sex with will think of me if this does happen.

I want to make it a goal for myself to recognize that I can’t control my partner’s reactions regardless so I might as well as be present in the moment and enjoy the sex vs overthinking

[social-bronze-junglefowl]

I do find that my negative thoughts towards sex affect me subconsciously in during sex. While in the moment I feel great, I tend to reflect negatively on myself. I will definitely try to recognize these criticisms and rewrite them as positives to turn off the subconscious critic.

[international-brown-panther]

I definitely focus on my negative thoughts during sex. Focusing on lasting longer paradoxically makes me finish quicker.

[past-lime-fowl]

I have always suffered with PE, it has never not happened, so that is factual and it’s difficult to shrug that off when it’s historical. I don’t know what to do.

[robust-silver-gopher]

I have had one experience when I lasted a lot longer during sex, I just need to find a way to get myself into that headspace more consistently

[amused-orange-eel]

I’ve realized that I’ve been super hard on myself due to watching porn over a lot of years and also comparing myself to other guys and thinking I don’t measure up the same as them size wise or time wise. These thoughts have rolled over into the bedroom with all partners I’ve had. I’ve entered the bedroom with all these cognitive distortions and just get so overwhelmed thinking I’m not going to be enough when in reality I am enough and was just psyching myself out. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will continue to be the best student here and knock out all my exercises! I can already see an improvement in just a few days

[likely-lime-cardinal]

I remember that with my previous partner we used to go rounds. But with my last partner, only once, so I thought that I might have changed or that the relationship changed once it was more open and solid. I thought I could never go back to allow myself having rounds after rounds.
Maybe because I had lost interest in her? In sex whatsoever compared to a stable relationship?

[shy-scarlet-caterpillar]

I can hear in my head, when intensity spikes and I near orgasm, “I can’t believe it’s happening again. I really thought I’d last longer this time.”

[warm-magenta-salamander]

Na

[technological-scarlet-heron]

Maybe I’m naive, but my problem doesn’t seem to be cognitive distortions. It seems to be ejaculating as soon as I’m inside a vagina!
I don’t really have those thoughts the exercise pointed out.
But at the same time, I’d love to last longer, so I’ll keep trying…

[peaceful-ivory-stork]

I think this is super important but a bit of a hassle to stick with as it’s a bunch of writing that you have to consistently do over the day. But I guess when I’m used to it I will just be able to recognise the negative bias and shut it down with practical reasoning automatically

[elated-lavender-mule]

This was a really good exercise. My main problem is def just overthinking and catastrophing everything

[severe-violet-gopher]

I definitely overthink and the bad things are always at the forefront of my mind especially when I don’t last. But when I think about it, there is alot of positives

[realistic-olive-gecko]

I’m in the same boat. It is factual that I don’t last the average time. This doesn’t necessarily mean the sex is worse though. All it means is that it doesn’t last as long. Time is neither good or bad, it just is