To be honest when I first started this program I was worried it wasn’t for me. There has certainly been times when I wanted to get hard and didn’t but not often enough for me to consider it a problem. The guided masturbation though I think maybe able to help with what I consider my real problem. I almost never cum during sex. I mean like in the past 26 some years I can count how many times I’ve cum during sex on one hand. This almost always leads to my partners feeling like they aren’t doing it for me. Which is far from the truth I love sex. I still cum when I’m masturbating so I’m pretty sure it’s mental and not physical. Sometimes I’ve been able to jack off onto my partners but I think that actually has the effect that it makes them feel even more so that there is a problem with them. They are never able to jack me off to completion. it doesn’t mater if I’m in their mouth, vagina, or anal I don’t cum with them I just stay hard until I exhaust myself or them. Just started a new relationship with a new partner a week ago. I feel like my exercises have been positive as I was able to be intimate with her mutiple times a day during our 4 days playing with each other. But still couldn’t cum unless I jacked off unto her (did this twice while having her play with herself)
I think this sounds like a comfort thing. I sometimes have felt as though I cum so much easier alone, which I think is about comfort. If you are a guy who simply tends to last longer in bed, this subconscious stress may be further preventing you from just enjoying it, also explaining why you might be able to cum as soon as it’d YOU doing the work with yourself. I would take a step back and just let go and don’t think about Cummings, when you will, or even if you will at all!
My partner feels exactly the same thing as you describe, she would ask if she is enough for me and say how thoughtful it is to not understand how it must make her feel, when exactly the opposite is true. Then I had to go almost cold turkey on masturbation and porn and finally got enough tension built up that I came within a few minutes. But then the next day, back to the same thing. It’s been better but it still feels like a long way to go. She’s had dozens more partners than me, so that makes me feel like I’m in the minority of poor performers.