Agree massively re:condoms. It’s always in my head saying what if you’re not hard enough for a condom.
My inner critic pretty much never leaves.
Yeh I can relate to a lot here. My IC I have noticed more since starting here and how big a part he is in my life. It would be great if he didn’t exist and I could just live on instinct.
Thanks for sharing. I would argue it’s a vital part of my life in how I’ve been a somewhat successful in my career though too and my current relationship-- that inner critic is somethign that tells me I havent gotten flowers for my wife in awhileor told her shes pretty. . You harness that to look at all of the angles and get ahead of things before they come to pass. Its a strength and a weakness to me. Just a thought
I feel like I need to work in tandem with physical health and mental to control the IC.
Overcoming the mind I think will be easier with some sort of success in the bed, even a mini win. Something to build on.
I notice my IC as it’s pretty much my only thoughts I don’t have the opposite to that. It defo makes my sex performance awful, but it also keeps me from being cocky and arrogant. And keeps pushing me to be better
My inner critic starts talking the moment I know or think there is a strong likelihood I will be having sex later. It’s a feeling that I won’t be able to get hard. So then when I am in the act, the critic it’s louder, and I am just trying to get through it as opposed to enjoying it. My critic makes me 100% focused on my own experience.
My inner critic sometimes shows up when I plan to have sex. I have time to think about what might go wrong, because it’s gone wrong in the past. It makes it hard to stay in the moment.
My inner critic, goes all day and is loudest during. But labelling it as just inner critic allows me to take the sting out of its punches. It will be interesting to see how I go, if all day I had noted and labelled the inner critic when it arises instead of getting swept up in what it says.
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Lots to do with fertility issues and resulting challenges around sex
So much this.
IC sort of clears his throat at my first suspicion that sex is on the radar. I hear him whistling and warning me all day that there’s gonna be troyble. Foreplay goes great and I feel ready, you know? But as soon as it comes time to deliver, things go south and the dude’s there shaking his head in my head.
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I no longer enjoy sex as I am so worried about what will happen
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My IC starts as soon as there’s a suggestion of sex, and if not successful it seems to gain volume the more days that pass without me being able to perform for my partner.
Recognising it feels like a good first step, as it’s been there so long I’ve kinda just accepted the IC’s view on events without challenging it.
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IC shows up for me whenever sex is mentioned ever. It reminds me about how I can’t have sex and it probably will not work for me. It is incredible frustrating but I will push through it. I can silence it by hanging out with people I love and doing fun things.
I learnt something about its behaviour, it kind of go in cycles in me. Sometimes it’s stronger andoverwhelming and at other times it’s weaker and I can deal with it
My IC starts the moment we talk about having sex. The impending doom can be very heavy.
My IC has been with me for so long I don’t even know the difference between him and me anymore. The second I think it might be on the cards he turns my stomach. I walk up the stairs dreading what may or may not happen. Even though these days it barely is on the cards as I think my wife has given up on me
It used to bother me more
It is extra strong when I’ve been using porn. It is strongest when I’m on my own and considering pulling away from plans with my gf to avoid the shame of poor sex. The critic is there as soon as we’re within a few days of meeting, when porn use affects my ability to stay hard.