I’ve been doing self-sensate for the past week or so (my wife is out of town so sensate focus is off the table). I did 2 a couple times then 3 yesterday. None were not particularly mind-blowing and they seemed like a waste of time. Touching all over your own body for 20 minutes seems like forever to be honest. That said, I went with it and touched everywhere from the bottoms of my feet to my head and all places in between, and tried to really pay attention to the feeling. (By the way, touching your naked body in front of a mirror when you are out of shape like me is not in any way sexy, but I guess it is supposed to help.)
Today I did self-sensate 4 for the full 20 minutes. I was amazed at how good it felt. I was rock hard after just a minute or so, and kept moving from body to penis and back. Honestly, it was really amazing. I was nothing like a traditional masturbation session for me; I was writhing and breathing hard and starting to sweat, almost like I was having sex. (Maybe this is your masturbation sessions, but it isn’t mine!) When I moved from my penis to my body, it felt like the arousal just kept building rather than it being a placeholder where I’m making myself take more time to cum.
Anyway, it felt so good that I had to finish just after the timer went off, so perhaps I did self-sensate 4.5. What was really surprising is that I was still hard for probably 90 seconds afterwards which never happens to me!
Anyway, whether I did self-sensate 4 or self-sensate 5, I was pretty pleased with the results and feel it can only help when my partner returns.
Anyone else have some positive sensate stories?
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I haven’t done it yet, but it sounds very reassuring
Wow that’s super encouraging! I find myself “dragging my feet” when it’s time to do the Self-Sensate exercises. (I’m in a long-distance relationship, and although I’ve told my girlfriend the gist of how Sensate works we’ve never actually taken the opportunity to try it when we’re together). I will often procrastinate Sensate, and am never consistent about it, though I know my lack of really feeling is a huge part of my problem. I will be on my own for the next two weeks and really need to put in the work, so your story of progress is really encouraging to give Sensate a proper effort. Thanks for sharing
Been doing sensate for two weeks now every two/three days. Tbh I haven’t seen much improvements. I am focusing on sensate 4 and 5, and I’m on viagra due to low testosterone. I’ll put in the work for the next week and keep going. My wife is back in ten days so excited but also anxious about it . I hope the work I’ve put in the last two months helps.
To be honest with you I just feel foolish doing self sensate and have got nothing from it up to now. I do have a partner, but we aren’t really having sex at present due to my ed problems. I am hoping to be able to persued her that doing the sensate together may well help, not just due to my ed, but as we both have body image problems as well
I’ve not tried self-sensate yet as I just got onto phase 5 yesterday. I did however approach my partner about it and perhaps (rather foolishly) described it as touching each other in clothes, in silence, for 20 mins.
You can imagine she immediately said not a chance (laughing).
Has anyone else broached the subject of sensate to a hesitant partner? Would self-sensate be sufficient if my partner wasn’t willing to do sensate with me?
EDIT: she did say she’d do massages instead! Would this have a similar effect?
I tried sensate a few times solo and enjoyed it a little but not alot.
But with a partner we were both so turned on and ready to have sex. The girl really enjoyed it and so did I. It’s a long drawn out foreplay. Perhaps try and re-phrase the exercise as foreplay for both of you. Touch the girl first then your turn. If you are hard go for it. I think your partner will enjoy it as well.
We did 1-4 in a row and could not wait to have sex after the 3rd one.
Partnered sensate will be a game to play for us in the future. Not every week but maybe once every 2 months or so.
Also a sexy massage all over will be close enough as a compromise.
I recently just got to this phase. I will say, I was most excited for this because one of my goals is to learn sensation again. Years of over used porn I feel like have desensitized me a lot.
My inner critic came to the surface though as soon as the interest came. It said, “you can’t get it up for that long.” Or, “you won’t be able to do it without porn.” I had to try though and really focus. So , I used the box breathing and the first meditation session before hand. Helped me get rid of a lot of anxiety. It also helps to bring your aura or inner eye if you will to where you’re touching. Really feeling it and imagining it’s your partner touching you and not yourself.
And I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to finish at the end too. But I there’s something a rousing about the build up.
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For those with partners who are hesitant to do “weird” stuff like sensate, I recommend appealing to the authority of the program and the inventors of sensate, Masters and Johnson, the most famous sex therapists in the world. If you were paying $150/session with a sex therapist, they would be telling you to do the same thing. Also, this is proven to help with ED, so it’s not like this is the new normal; this is a program to get things back to normal.
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I had a positive experience this past weekend and I was able to get hard quite quickly and was able to focus on the feeling. I was able to cum successfully with a hard erection.
Sorry mojo. I’ve not really got a lot from the whole Mojo programme (although just found the sensate / self sensate posts very interesting and encouraging).
I’ve suffered from chronic ed for years and years and had just about given up (I’m 55 incidentally). I’ve recently unsubscribed from Mojo as I got nothing from understanding, reading or ‘learning’ / about the issue.
However, quite separately, 4 months ago I decided to give up eating sugar!!! I had a terrible sweet tooth and loved chocolate, cake and biscuits. It wasn’t easy for the first week or two but now I’ve kicked the sugar habit. I’ve lost over 1.5 stones and my waste has reduced / trousers are too loose etc etc.
Incredibly, partly (I think) because I look better and feel better about myself,… ‘morning glory’ has made a return, erections have made a reappearance, viagra’s been ditched and sex has been happening again with a partner who (again, I think) is finding me more attractive due to there being 1.5 stone less and my increasing confidence!
As I said, I’m off, unsubscribed and now trying to get fitter now that I’m close to my ideal weight and within the BMI for a man my height and age etc
Listen, it might not work for everyone, and it’s not the reason I actually ditched the sugar and cake in the first place, but it’s worked for me! Good luck!
Just tried sensate for the first time. Honestly, procrastinated it for a while as was feeling stressed from other areas of my life. Did 10 min on each side of the body, in boxers laying down. Followed the rules and stayed away from touching anywhere sexual.
Can’t lie was really weird - was nice to be mindful and take some time out for me and to work on my journey but none of the sensations were above a 5/10. Also tried to bring fantasy in but the inner critic kept popping up with a feeling of “this is weird and not something that a partner would find attractive” also I couldn’t find a way to incorporate what I was doing into any fantasy.
Nothing to lose from giving it another go so will give it a try and report back.
This is definitely my fear for bringing it up with my wife. I know she wouldn’t laugh but we have so little time for sex, 20 minutes of scheduled touching would not be an easy sell. And I think the clinical vibe might feel unromantic to her.
What is self senate - can somebody explain it to me please?