My problem has been with condoms, every time I’ve put on a condom when trying to have sex I go soft. Anyone have any tips or advice for this?
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Same issue. No solve as yet.
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It happens to me as well. I think for me it is just another layer of pressure prior to penetration. I get aroused a lot of the time during the lead up but once the moment comes and the condom gets open I know it’s the main event and down it goes. I do know it is not really the condom though because one time my partner unrolled it on my Johnson during oral and it did not go down right away until my mind realized what was up… and then I was not. Another indication that I need to get out of my head.
I’m 47 - I have the same issue, my wife got rid of her IUD and she has completely reverted back to being 21 years old again. Back to condoms was fine at first, but now I put one on and the feeling seems almost numb. I think about it for 1 second and deflation begins. Last week we went 8 times in 6 days with only 1 failure on my part. It’s become a mental game to ignore them, so it’s all in my head. I’m only on day 1 with mojo, so hoping I can get away from my inner voice ASAP.
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Same here. I now try to implement condoms in my masturbation. Whenever I feel very confident in my erection during masturbation I pull over a condom and continue masturbating. Can’t tell if it works yet, but the few time I did it, I felt more confident after.
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I’m still working on this and haven’t totally solved it but I’ve seen improvement by:
- ensuring the condom box lives on the bedside table, and the individual wrappers are pre-broken up into singles. I noticed even the extra step to break up the paired condom packages (they seem to come this way where I live) into a singles was just one more step that took my head out of sex.
- ensuring you are rock solid before rolling condom on
- work the condom into any masturbation you do - i.e. the pause to unpackage it, roll it on, and keep stimulating yourself with the changed sensation of it, gives your body a chance to adjust. I’ve also had some success adding a fleshlight to this as well.
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Same issue…. Blimey… at least it’s not just me…. 10 seconds… erection gone… very annoying…
Any advice has gotta help. Oh yeah… and if your hands are “slippery” good luck opening the Durex packet….
Someone mentioned having them already open… good call.
I’m going to keep doing the mind and breathing exercises and trying to relax…
Good luck out there chaps…
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I’ve had this issue as well. Something that has helped me with a previous partner was to have her put the condom on me, I would stroke myself while she got it out of the wrapper then she would put it on.
Another thing that has helped is getting condoms that causes some sensation. Trojan has these heat/ice condoms that cause a warming tingly sensation when you put them on and a cooling sensation when they come off, it’s great. If you don’t have those get some lube that causes the same sensation and rub a drop on your tip then put the condom on.
Happens to me as well but my issue is that condoms take away the sensation and without that I go soft.
I’m certain this is a strong contributor to my performance anxiety too and I find that just the thought of having to break the flow to reach for a Condom gets me quite worked up that I’m unable to time it correctly. Either I reach for it too late, I get too excited (or nervous and cum early) or I go completely soft the second I get the condom.
I’m actually going down the route of getting a vasectomy next month, extreme I know. There’s more than one reason, and I’ve talked it through with my wife, but if I’m honest with myself I’m hoping that the elimination of the condom helps with my anxiety and I can get back on track with having a good sex life. Has anyone gone through a similar experience?
Just an update in case it helps anyone here. I tried earlier to use a condom on my own just so I can get back to getting use to the sensation of the condom, without the pressures of having my partner with me. As soon as I put it on, I immediately went soft (as expected). However I tried not to spiral and get frustrated and put in practice the breathing techniques, took off the condom and tried again within a few mins, this time with success and managed to stay hard. I’ll count that as progress. Not the same at all as having success during the act with your partner but I am hoping that if I do this a few more times, it may reduce any anxiety that is related specifically with the condom, which for me I think is a contributing factor!
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